I have really got to get better at this blogging thing! My last post was like a year and a half ago! Anywho, I'm glad I have a place to release some thoughts, especially when there's lots of thoughts to be released. Today I am 39 weeks and 5 days pregnant with our second baby girl, Maci Pearl. My cervix has been completely stubborn this time, so an induction was scheduled for Thursday, two days from now on my due date. An entirely different experience than my first pregnancy/delivery altogether.
So while I wait to try to be induced on Thursday, I have lots to ponder. Lots. And lots to be thankful for. I have a beautiful, intelligent, thriving 2 year old who is the light of our lives. She makes life worth living and the bad days seem ok. Callie has given us so much joy and shown us how to be silly and loving. She is toddler perfection in our eyes. When Adam and I found out we were expecting another girl, we were over the moon. I am extremely close with my sisters and I'm so excited for Callie to share the unshakeable bond that sisters do with Maci...among the hair pulling, name calling, and throat punching that's bound to happen growing up. But an unshakeable bond nonetheless. Here's an updated pic of my gorgeous girl:
This was one of my favorites from her 2 year photo shoot. She's a beauty <3 p="">
Thinking of having two kids is overwhelming to me at this point. We have such a fabulous routine established for Callie. She tells us whens she's hungry. Naps for atleast 2 hours a day and sleeps 12 hours at night, IN HER OWN BED. She has never slept in our bed and never will. Same with Maci. Word of advice for those of you with babies who ever want to sleep again...don't put your newborn in bed with you. Recipe for disaster and years of restless nights of sleep. End soapbox.
As I was saying, we've got this down. Yes she has the occasional meltdown in public. We have to spank her butt and put her in timeout when it calls for it. But overall, Callie is a fantastic child and has the best personality. Still working on the potty training thing but we won't open that can of worms in this blog. We feel like we have a good grip on what to do when she's screaming, gets a boo boo, or flares up with a fever. We make sure to take her places and do things with her so she's not glued to watching Bubble Guppies all day (even though she'd be in favor of that). She has a balanced diet without us being organic/vegan/paleo obsessed and the dr always says how healthy and perfect she is. She could eat more green veggies for sure, but I'm blaming that on her father. She inherited his close mindedness towards anything vegetable that isn't a potato. So she gets vitamins to help with what she's missing from those. And while respecting the decisions of my fellow granola parents to give their child/ren only things that grow from the ground, use cloth diapering, and wear beaded necklaces, please don't assume we all will parent like you or will want to (def have to end that one there or this blog will become entirely too long). Like I said, we feel pretty good about where we are in the parenting stage.
What will happen when we have a toddler AND a newborn?? I often think of the hardest days coming my way. The sleepless nights, the nursing attempt (another day, another blog), the possible acid reflux Maci might have that Callie did that kept her spitting up for months on end that smelled like fire. I think of Maci screaming in my arms while Callie is drawing on the walls or running into the street while I'm home alone with them. (Callie hasn't done either btw, just a very extreme example of said fear). I think "how are we going to do this? how??" And then I remember, we're not the first and we certainly won't be the last family of 4. Things will be undoubtedly hard at first. Yes, no sleeping for the first few months. Days where we all sit around and cry and I forget to eat because I've got a baby on my boob and a toddler peeing in the floor. Probably days I forget to feed my attention starved and literally starving chihuahua from all the chaos. Days where I want to throw my arms in the air and give up.
But that's what parenting, especially a newborn, is right?
But what is different this time, that calms all my fears and leaves me longing for Maci to get here quickly are the sweet moments and memories waiting to be unfolded. Getting to see Callie as a big sister. She already kisses my belly everyday and says we can't wait to see you. She's gonna be such a rockstar big sister. She carries her babies everywhere, paying close attention to rocking them, feeding them their bottles and even puts them in Maci's swing when she needs her hands free. Watching her with other newborns already captures my heart, so I can't imagine the feeling of seeing my girls interacting together. It's a blessing I am aching to see and watch through the years. I am excited to see us transition from a family of 3 to 4 and all the things that come along with that transition. I'm looking forward to seeing how Adam handles all these girls and what a mushball he will become being a daddy of two daughters. I am mostly looking forward to all of the love that will fill our home with Maci as part of our family. I can't imagine loving another child as much as I love Callie, but like the cheesy line from Sister Wives says, love is meant to be multiplied, not divided. (I should also insert here that is the only thing I take away from that show this is beneficial. Why a man would want more than one wife is beyond me.)
I can't wait to meet Maci. I can't wait for Callie to meet Maci. I can't wait to bring her home and let the chaos begin. The beautiful, never ending, chaos. The crying, the laughing, the frustration, the unexplainable love. We have a lot to learn as parents and are doing the best we can now. We'll have a lot to learn as parents of two 27 months apart. It'll be a test, but a challenge we're welcoming with open arms. Being a mother is the best job in the world and although this pregnancy has been difficult, it's something miraculous I'm thankful to have experienced a second time.
So now, we wait.