tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25439124353756531992024-03-05T16:18:42.561-08:00hairspray and picklesJust a place to talk about all the little and big things in our life. Hope you find it enjoyable =)Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-91298854523461071622018-10-08T10:11:00.000-07:002018-10-08T11:03:02.829-07:00The One I Never Wanted to WriteLife has been busy, busy. We are doing well to keep our head above water raising our three daughters, working full time, staying connected to people we love, and we're going on almost two years in the adoption process. Our schedules are restrictive, our lives are constantly on the go, and we are doing the very best we can to be people of character, people who extend grace and forgiveness, and people who hold true to the faith we profess. We are also people who find it of upmost importance, now more than ever, to raise our girls in the same way. To be kind to others regardless of color, looks, or what they're wearing. To stand up for those who are being bullied and if they are being bullied, to have a voice. To love without limits and to forgive easily. I just told my Callie last night who is now 7 and whose heart is as soft as mashed potatoes- after she had a hard day and she had apologized and kept apologizing over and over- "I forgive you. If I said I forgive you, we don't have to keep talking about it anymore. It's over and we move on and make better choices." "But mommy, I was so mean. I don't deserve for you to be nice to me." Ah, sweet child, the things I am not deserving of. Our littles are great teachers.<br />
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We are in a sticky place with social media. I tell myself every other day I'm deleting it. It can all be too much sometimes with the opinions, the hateful spews of people who disagree with other people, the name calling, the mom shaming, the joy stealing trap of comparison that's put on display day in and day out. But I stay because of the good that comes from it. The pictures I get to see of friend's families, the women's group I'm a part of through my church, the business page I'm tied to with my job. The outpouring of love and prayers I've seen given to grieving families, people getting answers they need, or direction they're searching for.<br />
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Something that is certainly unavoidable right now are the situations where women are coming forward with abuse allegations and they are met with doubt, questions, and worse, unbelief. And hear me, this is not me talking about one specific situation, what they've said and haven't said, what they've done and haven't done. I'm not writing this as someone's attorney or defendant. It has however, stirred something in me to write about my own situation. My own experience. I don't feel there are any clear answers, but everyone is so quick to jump on social media, share all the memes tearing others down who have an opposite stance, so quick to judge someone's entire character based on what they think about a situation that is so far from their actual life. Who do we think we are to treat each other this way? It's so reminiscent of the election, nauseates me to think of where we're at as human beings.<br />
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I'm sharing this because I'm a woman who was sexually abused. I'm sharing this because I'm a mom. I'm sharing this because I'm a daughter. I'm sharing this because I'm a friend to other women who have gone through the same things. I'm sharing this knowing I'm being completely vulnerable, knowing it may not be received well. And that's ok. I am encouraged by other women in my life who have come forward with their experiences and if I can be an encouragement for someone else experiencing any kind of abuse in any way, then it's worth it.<br />
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When I was six years old, I was molested by my great uncle on multiple occasions. Let me say it again- SIX YEARS OLD. My oldest daughter is 7, my middle is 5. He was a man my parents trusted. He was someone my family loved and when he became very ill, he lived with us. I was left in his care just a couple of times, once being when my parents had to run my sister to the ER because I slammed her finger in the door- yikes! These memories are in no order but these are the ones I remember. I remember him being on top of me in the living room floor. I remember his hands all over me. I remember him leaving the bathroom door open while he urinated. I remember him holding me close to him while he was sitting down so he could rub himself on me. I remember pushing away my four year old sister when he reached for her. I remember sitting on the toilet crying because of physical pain. I remember when he was on his death bed in the hospital, I stayed as far away as I could until I was escorted to his bedside to give him a "hug" goodbye. He held on tight as I tried to pull away. I wanted him to die and when he did, I didn't shed a tear. I didn't understand what had been done to me but I knew it was wrong. I knew I didn't like it. I knew it felt dirty. He threatened me and made me promise to keep it a secret. I didn't tell anyone until after he died. I was seven years old when I finally told my older sister first. I said, and I remember to this day, "Do you know the sex thing? Uncle ---- did that to me." So began the crying, the breaking of my mom's heart, the many nights I spent awake, being rocked by my mother, afraid he was going to come back and get me. I spoke with the school counselor a few times but it was really the comfort of my parents that gave me the most solace. My dad would have killed him. He would've been in jail no doubt.<br />
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There are parts to that story that I don't remember. It was just last year, as a 33 year old, that I finally got the nerve to ask my mom what that conversation was like between she and I when I was a terrified seven year old. She told me I said "his fingers hurt me". She told me after she put me to bed that night, that she stood on the back patio with my dad screaming and crying that she hoped he was burning in hell. That was something the Lord blocked from my memory. I remember pain after but not during the abuse. Does that make it any less true? I am thankful I don't remember all of it. That is grace to me. But how hurtful it would be to be told I was lying or making something up because I couldn't recall every detail.<br />
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Fast forward a couple of years and my mom, sister, and I were heavily involved in our church at the time. My mom drove the van for Wednesday night kids program because no one else would. There was a boy, a bigger boy, probably atleast 2-3 grades older who liked me. He wrote me a note one Wednesday night to be his girlfriend and I said no. On a Sunday morning following that night, we were upstairs in one of the classrooms of the church. Our sunday school class had released early and everyone left the classroom and he closed the door before I could get out. There was a long rectangular table with chairs around it. I watched him lock the door and turn and look at me. He started to come after me. I was on the opposite side of the table. I by the grace of God, made it to the door to the joining classroom, where they were still in session. I put my hand on it and told him I would open it if he didn't let me out. Then he did.<br />
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Jump ahead many years to where I was working my first waitressing job at 18 years old. I had just come back into the kitchen from taking an order and was getting glasses out to make the drinks. When I bent down to grab some glasses, a man working there, stuck his hand down the back of my pants into my panties. I stood up quickly, looked him in the eyes, but couldn't utter a word. I was frozen. He gave a slimy smile and walked away. I never said anything to anyone about him.<br />
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These are the things that I carry with me. These are the memories that help shape what kind of mother I am to my daughters. I take every precautionary, I have had many talks with them about who can see them naked, touch them, etc. What inappropriate touch is, to ALWAYS tell mommy or daddy if ANYONE touches them in anyway that makes them feel uncomfortable. When I was in high school, I knew many girls who had experienced similar abuse, some went through way worse than I did. A couple I knew were raped by family members. It is staggering to me to think about my daughters going through anything like this. What's worse to me is them feeling they can't say anything to anyone about it. So here momma is, laying it all out. The gruesome and the ugly. One day, I will tell them about my experiences because I want to lead with vulnerability. I want them to know that God has healed my hurt. I want them to know it's imperative that they be their own advocates in a world of rock throwers and hushers.<br />
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If you are a woman or a man who has been abused in any way, please tell a trusted someone. It's so important for healing to make that first step giving voice to hurt. We are not required to stay in ANY situation, job, marriage, or relationship where there is ANY kind of abuse. Even verbal and emotional abuse can cause lasting damage and can trickle down into other relationships year after year. The stones of abuse will only be unturned for so long. It always finds ways to rear it's ugly head if not properly dealt with. Keeping things quiet is a detrimental poison.<br />
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I am a strong woman. I know and love strong women. I'm doing my best to raise strong women. Strong doesn't equal silent. It doesn't equal passive. Strong comes with experience, with transparency, with vocalizing hurt and finding ways to pursue healing. I am strengthened by my God and His promises for me, I am strengthened by my loved ones who show up always, and I am strengthened by the ones who give a head nod and say "Me, too."<br />
<br />Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-14440546938281823082018-01-25T13:27:00.000-08:002018-01-25T13:27:45.509-08:00Bird in a Barren BushA few days ago, I found myself sitting in Walgreens parking lot. I was there picking up a prescription for my daughter who was just diagnosed with strep and of course, meds weren't ready. Instead of driving home, I found a cozy parking spot, put my van in park, and closed my eyes. Silence. Quiet. Escape. Breather. It was a crazy couple of weeks with sick kiddos and mine and my husband's work schedules and it was nice to just stop.<br />
After a few minutes, I opened my eyes. I was parked where I could see traffic going in and out and to my right were three bushes. They were brown and barren like most of the trees and and surrounding bushes. Something about these bushes caught my eye though and drew me in. In these bushes, there were birds. I started looking closer and there were birds in all of the bushes, hopping around. They started chirping loudly in unison. The chirping went on for a couple of minutes then came to a complete stop. No one would ever know these birds were in these bushes unless they were as close to them as I was. They were camouflaged by the color of the sticks. These little guys must have been seeking shelter from the cold wind that day. I remember being out in the wind taking my daughter into the doctor and covering our faces because the air was so frigid. Maybe that was it. They were trying to get far enough down into the bush to cover themselves from the fierce wind. Maybe they were looking for a bush that had leaves on it, maybe they were trying to get sticks to take to some other place to form a nest. Maybe they didn't know why they were in the bush, they just saw a fellow bird, and started flying behind them and that's where they landed. Maybe they heard the chirping and wanted to join in.<br />
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On the way home, I kept thinking about those birds in the barren bushes. Now I know it's probably common practice for birds to gather like that. I'm no bird expert. I couldn't help but see something familiar here, something close to home, something I've seen before. I've seen this scenario played out in my friend's lives, in the lives of family members, in people's lives I've never met, and I've seen it in myself. I think the obvious comparison we want to jump to is the bird. So, let's be the bird for a moment, the bird in the bush. Have you ever felt like you wanted to hide? Like you wanted to cover up something? That you needed shelter? A safe place? That your cries were drowned out by someone else's cries or not heard at all? We are a society that loves to hide. We find comfort in knowing we'll never be seen for who we are. In fact, we go great lengths in safeguarding ourselves so no one will ever be allowed to REALLY see what's going on in our world, our homes, or our lives. Even at surface level authenticity, we are really on the struggle bus. What's the first thing we as women do when we're getting ready for the day? We cover up. We pull out the concealer, the foundation, the powder, the contour stick, ALL THE COSMETICS, and we blend and rub and cover. What about those lines that are on my neck? Nope, not showing those today. What about my dark circles? They won't ever know I have them. And forget about showing any trace of acne or blemish. Sephora has my back. Now listen, I am a hairstylist and have been in an industry for 10 plus years that centers around making women feel more confident in their looks and I love me some makeup and I love hair color, but it is in fact, covering your God given natural assets. Just like hair color can take away those grays in about 30 minutes for 5 more weeks, we so quickly want to cover what we see in the mirror from head to toe. If you can't tone it, tan it. Wear four shirts to cover up the jiggle. Never show your legs because they look like a roadmap of varicose veins. Cover, layer, and put it away.<br />
How does that translate emotionally? Mentally? At work? In relationships? With your spouse? As a parent? As a Christian? As a human being? We cling to social media in ways that are detrimental to our well being on so many levels. We fuel passive aggression by posting memes and statuses that don't mention names but we have it out there for certain people to read in hopes that they'll get offended or insecure or will be upset. Passive aggression is one of the most attractive ways to keep hiding because it keeps everyone and everything in the dark. We hunker down behind our screens and shoot out missiles without any purpose other than to hurt. But hurt who? Hurt people hurt people. We want to prove a point, shine a light on someone else, point the finger, and cast the blame. Why? Because they deserve it Because they hurt me. Because I'm so offended by X, Y, and Z. What does it look like to gather those missiles and turn that pointer finger around? What kind of hard work does it take to look in the mirror, accept what you see, and work on it from there without lashing out? What if our selfies were less about the angle of the camera and more about a straight picture of the heart?<br />
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The bird is no longer in that bush. It came out, flew out, went about its way to a warmer bush, maybe still a barren one with it being winter. But the bird knows there are blue skies, green grass, lavish bushes, and plenty of twigs coming in Spring. So the bird makes due until then. In this scenario, lets not overlook the barren bush. The barren bush is not seen. It's brown, naked, and really can't even claim it's worth looking at. It's feeble attempt in keeping the birds warm is sad. Raise your hand if you see yourself in the bush. Hello, there I am! I go through seasons of feeling vibrant, full of life, and beaming with the sunshine and bearing yummy fruit. And all too often, I feel like that barren bush. Weathered by the storm, feeling cold and naked, longing for someone to take shelter beneath my leaves but I have none to offer. Something I've learned over the years is I can't protect all the ones I love. I see those birds in that bush still shivering, still longing for shelter from the cold. I've always wanted to protect and preserve. To uphold, encourage, and edify when needed. But I have also learned we can absolutely be depleted of those things and be left feeling like a pile of dry sticks with nothing to give at all. I have carried that burden and will carry it for years to come I imagine. But the Lord has been gracious in reminding me it's not my job to uphold, to fulfill someone else's emotional needs, or to protect everyone from harm at all times. If I stay in that space, I am liable to self destruct in a way. Then I will have nothing to show for, nothing to produce, and nothing to offer.<br />
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My favorite part of this scene is the part that hadn't happened yet, not while I was watching anyway. The part when the wind got a little warmer, the birds got a little braver, and they all came up out of that barren bush, spread their wings, and took off. Shivering, I'm sure. Flying maybe a little wobbly from being perched in that bush for a little while. But the wings are open, the sights are set, and while destination may be unknown, the bird is breaking free and soaring. No greenery around yet, not much on the ground to make a nest out of, but there he goes. Vulnerable, bare, showing everyone what he's got. Not a bald eagle making it's flight across a majestic ocean, but a little shivering bird, freely flying to whatever's next.<br />
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What's got your wings tied friend? What are you hiding from or trying to cover up in your barren bush? Or are you trying to be someone else's safe harbor only to find yourself barren and unable to fulfill? Truth, authenticity, and transparency are hard things, but my God, when we embrace them, we are sure to be flying. It doesn't come without hard work, raw emotions, and real conversations, but start somewhere. Wipe off the makeup, take off the Spanx, come out from behind the screen and do the hard things. The creator of the world says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Even if you can't stand the sight of yourself, or others for that matter, just think about that. The same God that formed the mountains and gave light to the stars also made you and says you, says they, are wonderfully made. Look up, take a deep breath, and spread your wings!<br />
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<br />Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-63657601974163244522017-02-24T19:46:00.001-08:002017-02-24T19:46:22.139-08:00The Van YearsI can't ever remember a time when I wanted to drive a van. I distinctly recall telling myself I would NEVER drive a van. I would be the cool mom in the SUV with the automatic doors. The mom with the Thirty-One bins, monogrammed in matching colors of course, neatly stacked on top of each other in the back of that SUV. Those sitting next to a nice travel system for the baby and that's it. Each child having their own little mesh hanging thing attached to the back of the driver and passenger seats, filled with a couple of their favorite coloring books and some crayons. Oh and I knew I wanted a dvd player in that SUV because how could we travel anywhere without a movie playing?? Black in color, maybe red even. Shiny and pretty and not a dent or smudge of bird poop to be found.<br />
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We purchased our first van when we had one child. ONE CHILD. I was only 27 and I felt like my years of youth were taken away from me. Like I was sacrificing my idea of what I thought was a cool mom right at the altar of mom shaming. It was all very spontaneous really. I came home with my baby, who was I don't know, under a year old, and said, "We've got to get a bigger car." The car seat, the diaper bag, the purse, and having the stroller took up about every inch in our car. I had to break my back to bend over to put the car seat in and out with an ever growing baby in it. "We NEED more room." So we hopped on the internet and before I knew it we were on our way to Etown to get us a van. We traded in our car, along with our dignity, and rode home feeling awkward. Aren't we too young to be driving this big thing?? How can you even see what's behind there? I wasn't even 30 yet, and here I was, riding high in the mom machine. The next morning I woke up and looked out in my driveway startled thinking, "Someone's here!" Nope. That was in fact my van parked at my house bought in our name.<br />
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Man if I could only go back and tell my hesitant self how awesome the van life would be. How there's so much ROOM! No more breaking of the back or squeezing everyone and everything in this little box. No, no. Now we have a rectangle on wheels! And we really know how to be fruitful in 5 years. Two more kiddos later and we are about to outgrow this van. I have really come to love our van. With a deep love. That thing has had so much life in and out of it. It has housed some wonderful memories as it's taken us to and fro. We've also invested a lot of money in this thing. It's had it's visits to the repair shop on a few occasions that left us grimacing as we wrote out a big check. But probably one of my most favorite things about our van is IT'S PAID OFF. That's right, no more payments for the beast, we just get to enjoy it until it craps out, and that we will.<br />
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Now, can't say much about the looks of it. Like I said, it's been in the repair shops here and there. The other day my co worker and great friend looked outside and said, "Felicia.." (hesitiates) "..your van." Yes, my van. My van is filthy from the inside out. The backseat is where the unknown is. I venture back there only when there's a spill I know of or a smell I can't figure out. My five year old has taken a crayon to the speakers and has put stickers on the back of the seat. Back in the summer, I used an entire can of Clorox wipes to scrub the melted, gooey, crayon, candy nastiness out of the cup holder. Kids are foul. The trunk of the van is probably worse. Under the stroller and whatever other toys Callie has thrown back there is candy/food wrappers, all kinds of little pieces of scrap paper that's been torn up, and some stale fries. The front bumper is slightly hanging off on one side, which we're reminded of when we park somewhere and it scrapes along the cement block. Oh, and my favorite, we now have a HUGE dent in the side of it as of recent because the mail lady ran into me. Busted rim all over the road, big scratch and dent and the cop says "They're not filing, so I wouldn't either." Gotta love Kentucky and their no fault law. Eye roll. So the long and short of it...this van is an eye sore. No, this van is ugly. A little busted up and the kids' hand prints in the dirt on the back of it is another reminder that I can't remember the last time I drove it through a car wash.<br />
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"Yeah, I know..." I said back to my friend. Sometimes when I'm walking towards it during lunch hour at work, I think how dirty it is or how ridiculous it looks. I think about how nice it would be to have a newer van with automatic sliding doors and one that's darker in color, because in case you're unaware, white shows everything. EVERYTHING. Ohhh or maybe one that has automatic start, wouldn't that be nice? I really only think about those things every now and then. Because what I think about the most when I see the beast isn't the dent. It's isn't the dirt and it isn't the bumper hanging on by a thread. I get in that van every morning after buckling three children in to the back of it. I see toys on the floor. I hear giggles and singing. I see beautiful little faces smiling back at me in the rearview mirror. When they aren't with me, I see three carseats and am reminded of the precious cargo this van carries day in and day out. I see my baby's sippy cup rolling around that she threw again. I see hair bows in the cup holders. I hear their favorite CD playing and I turn up the music.<br />
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How very much are we like my sorry looking van? Especially as mommas. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think "Yikes, hope I have time to put on makeup today" or "Man my hair is a mess" or the thing all of us women say most often, "I really need to lose that belly." Sometimes I feel like a walking tornado. My next thought is already ending before I can spout out the first one. I lay in bed each night and look at my reminders list- some things I got done, some were forgotten. I am constantly running on E in and out of the van. We have no groceries in my house. I have stopped at Mcdonalds one too many times this week just so my kids can get some breakfast because this work week has not allowed momma anytime to make it to the store. I have a stack of adoption papers that have been glaring at me for weeks sitting on my nightstand, begging me to fill them out and they keep getting covered by something else. I turned in my daughter's pizza fundraiser a day late because I refused to send her with nothing. Whoever has all their ducks in row all the time must be really close to losing their sanity. For the love of God, I don't even have ducks. I have two chihuahuas who need to be groomed and one keeps getting out of the fence. Sigh.<br />
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Just like my van, I can only see the chaotic at times. The unattractive. The mal-functioning. The hanging on by a thread parts of myself. The messy, the broken, the undesired. Just like I know someone else drives a nice car than me, I also know that someone else must be doing better than me at this mom thing. This wife thing. This employee thing. This homemaker (or home undoer) thing. This Jesus loving, faith living out thing. This everything. On a good day, when I feel on top of my game, I still would only give myself a C. But how I am reminded from our good God that there is beauty in the ashes. God takes my mess and makes is His mission. He uses my uselessness for His good. He see my weariness and reminds me it's ok to ask for help, a break, a breather. He reminds me that while I see a very unhinged mother in the mirror, that He's sees his child who is doing a great job.<br />
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So mommas, daddies, wives, husbands, friends, employers and employees, I want to pass along the same reminder. While you may resonate with my van and feel like you've been drug through the mud most days or have seen your share of repair shops, remember that God sees you as something great and has big plans for you. Even in your valleys, even in the dark, even in the mundane. You are doing a great job, despite feeling like you're drowning in check lists and school projects. So ride proud in that momma machine, with your head held high, knowing these are our years. The years we'll want back. One day I'll look into my rearview mirror and see an empty back seat, no toys and no sippys. Everything will smell clean and there will be no more candy wrappers on the floor. And I will probably cry, longing for these days right here. Let's ride in our beaten up, messy vans for as long as we can.Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-83423321417418867952016-12-27T21:22:00.000-08:002016-12-27T21:22:59.845-08:00Getting out of Comfortable"But God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through."<br />
-Francis Chan<br />
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I would say I have a comfortable life. We have bills like everyone else and owe our debts, but we are able to have extras and fulfill some of our wants. Christmas was two days ago and I can look around this house and see that my children are immeasurably blessed. They didn't ask for anything extravagant...a couple of dolls for my oldest and a Beauty and the Beast tea cart for my 3 year old. We tried to cut down the list of toys this year for family members too. We requested they buy activities for them, art supplies, practical things, etc over toys. For the love of God...no more toys! I cannot wait to give the toys away to the masses. My girls had a great Christmas and I am thankful they did. I can't help but think about my three year old's response after opening all of her gifts. It wasn't from a place of gratitude, thankfulness, or appreciation. It was coming from a place of wanting more and not being satisfied. When my five year old still had two more gifts to open, my three year old, after she had already opened all of hers, said "Mommy, I want to open more gifts!! That's not fair!" She then bursts into tears. <br />
I had to restrain myself from yelling out crazy things to her. Of course my first thought was "How dare you?!" with a very dramatic gasp. But it makes sense with the way our finite, human minds and longings work. Even a three year old thinks if I get more and more, I'll be happy and more happy. Oh my child, if only it worked that way. If I'm being honest, I wanted to sack up every new toy sitting around her on the floor and take it straight to good will in that moment. But in retrospect, it seems like a reflection of her surroundings. Something that is in us naturally. I have never once taught her to demand more things or if she has more of something, she'll be more happy or content. Children want toys. And they want other kids' toys. They want the loudest, coolest, most colorful, most technologically advanced, most hard to wire, most impossible to get toy. They want that toy with all of their being and with every Santa visit, they beam with joy as they rattle off their wishlist. And Christmas morning, when that gift is opened, it's pure joy for our momma hearts to see our children get what they were wanting so badly.<br />
But a couple days after Christmas...where is that deeply desired tea cart now? It's lying on the floor next to the tub of toys that haven't been played with for months. Where is that longing they had for that toy? It's completely diminished and a new desire for a different toy has taken it's place. Where is the joy they displayed when that gift was opened? It was but a fleeting moment and just like a gust of wind, it's gone too.<br />
Isn't this just like the way we adults operate too? We demand and teach our children to be happy with what they have, that having things isn't important and that people and relationships are. We often say "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit." Yet, how often do we throw righteous adult fits when something goes array? Don't we stomp our feet and throw our hands in the air when someone doesn't fit the mold of our expectation of them? What about when someone does better than you or gets promoted over you or overlooks you altogether? I can hear the inner crying now.<br />
Being comfortable in your life does not equal peace. Just because my daughter was given what she wanted, she was still restless. Still angry that she didn't get to open more gifts. Jealous that her sister had more to open and then disappointed when she didn't have any left to. We often equate joy and peace with a comfortable life. Comfortable financially. Comfortable in our routines. Comfortable in our relationships. Comfortable in our jobs. Comfortable in sitting out of charity work. Comfortable in knowing someone else will do it.<br />
I would argue being comfortable, or society's definition of it, isn't peaceful at all. Comfortable makes me think of lukewarm or stagnant water. Just sitting. Not nurturing anything. Not being useful in any way. Just sitting there in a warm glass that someone has forgotten about on the bedside table. Comfortable is a black and white painting, a richly routined life with no room for things outside of the norm, especially not the things of God or His calling. Because if we were obedient to that calling, we would be pushed way outside of our comfort zones.<br />
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And that is exactly where I want to be.Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-37495877339737191282016-09-18T17:19:00.000-07:002016-09-18T17:19:30.471-07:00Sitting GravesideI went and sat at my dad's grave the other day after work. I really had no intention of ending up there. I was exhausted after standing all day and wanted nothing more than to get home to see my babies and hubs. But there I went, driving towards the funeral home, passing it and heading in to the cemetery. It used to be I could enter from the other side right after he passed. I was 16 then. I spent a lot of time there that year. I would drive up there late at night even. Sometimes I'd go with my mom, but mostly I went alone. My sister and I processed his death very differently and she didn't go for years to visit. She still rarely goes. And really, is there a need to? We know he's not lying in that coffin. We know his soul resides with Jesus. I know he hears me talking to him whether I'm standing in my kitchen or by his grave. So why do we visit graves anyway? What's the purpose in visiting a body that is 6 feet in the ground with no life left in them? I know good and well my dad would tell me to stop coming there. He would tell me there's no need, that I can look up and talk to him anytime I wanted. My grandmother would say the same. Well, maybe she'd want to make sure her flower arrangements were looking good. And my mother keeps them looking beautiful.<br />
But what drove me there yesterday was desperation. Desperation to make sense of this life. Desperation to figure something out that I haven't quite yet. Desperation for answers. For something. I will tell you this...if you need some calm, if you need some reflection, some evaluation, go sit in a cemetery. Walk around and read the stones. Reflect on the lives that are no longer present around you and tell me if that doesn't reel your emotions in a bit. Or maybe it would send them over the edge. For me, it was sobering. It's always something that is good for me. To be reminded that this life is in fact temporary. That one day I will breathe my last breath and my family and friends will be left to mourn without me. As my sister and I were left to mourn my dad's death at the ages of 16 and 14. My dad died when he was 42. I'll be 32 in a few short months. 42 is not far away for me.<br />
It was all I could do to get out of my van quick enough. I left the windows cracked and walked towards the tombstone. I sat on the ground right in front of his name. "Danny Ray Casey, Born June 22, 1958 - Died April 17, 2001". I stared for a long time at the stone. I stared off into the sky. I listened to the bugs chirping around. I talked to him, asked him if he ever dealt with some of the things we are. I asked how he handled it if so and just thought of what he might say if he were here today. I reflected on the day of his funeral. I was in my darkest place of grief that day. I didn't even know how to process a loss so great at such a young age. I relied heavily on my friends to pull me through. I remember collapsing in their arms when they were lowering him into the ground.<br />
I sat and cried and talked a little more. I told him how much he would love my babies and how proud he'd be of Victoria. I longed for his freedom. His freedom from his sickness, his freedom from this world. His freedom from this life. We can't imagine that type of freedom just yet. We're not made to experience that until we meet Jesus face to face but man do I ever long for heaven some days. For those streets of gold and being reunited with all of our lost loved ones. Where there's no ugliness, darkness, gossip, lies, temptations, and sin. Where all is right and nothing is wrong. Where hesitations and fears are no more and saints are free to love and worship forever. What a day that will be!<br />
Until then, I want to know that I am living as freely as possible in the time I have left on earth. That I am showering others with grace and love, even in the darkness. That my daughters see that I am not perfect, but I'm clinging to my Jesus who is. That I'm giving myself freedom to fail, learn, and grow in the process. That I'm freeing myself up from expectations of others and expectations I put on myself. That I'm refusing to put back on the chains of bondage of anger, frustration, and bitterness that ruled me for too long. Sometimes we live as if this life goes on forever, that we get chance after chance, that we will never perish. While I know where my soul will reside after this life is over, I want to know that the life I'm living today isn't full of things I'll regret. And I can't do this in my own strength. Selfishly, I want to throw my arms up in the air and give up. Give up on people. Give up on humanity. Give up on there being any good in this world. I want to point my finger in their face and tell them that's not how you do it, not what you say, not how you treat people, not how your life should go.....and the list goes on. We are a culture of fixers aren't we? We try to take someone else's life and circumstances and give them a prescription. A prescription for everything they're not doing right. We could do it better. We would never do what they're doing. We would never struggle with that sin, temptation, addiction, etc. You must not be doing what the Lord wants you to do. You must be reaping what you've sown in your wild days. You must be getting what you deserve.<br />
But what if that's not it at all? This is so contrary to what we are called to live like as Christ followers. What we deserve is certainly not what we've been given. And how do we live out that gratitude to our Jesus? By withholding that same grace and forgiveness towards others? By hiding behind our computer screens and phones and posting scriptures, laced with guilt trips. By turning encouragement into something that has to be earned. By only loving those who love you and give you something in return. By turning God's Word into a buffet...my pastor said it best, Christianity is not a la carte. There's no choosing here. Love is a command. What restrictions and stipulations are you putting on your love? What would it look like if those restrictions were lifted? If you love without hesitation, reservations, or qualifications? If you loved your family member addicted to drugs, served your friend in their darkest hour, gave to the homeless man on the corner who has nothing to give in return.<br />
Wouldn't that love be freeing? Wouldn't that kind of shocking love change your life? That's the life I'm longing for. Where my hands are open and my heart is ready to serve. God help remind us that this life isn't forever, but the way we love others can be eternally impacting.Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-20039311696714414272016-07-24T11:46:00.000-07:002016-07-24T11:46:22.579-07:00Raising Up Storm Chasers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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I took this picture at the beginning of this week during a pretty cool rain storm. The girls were so mesmerized by the wind and the rain and they wanted a front row seat. They opened the glass door and pulled closed the screen so they could hear and smell everything. At certain times, Callie would pull back the screen and stick out her hand and laugh and giggle as the rain sprinkled her hand. Before it became too heavy, she hopped right out in it and twirled around in the wind. She spun and danced on our deck without a care in the world. Eyes closed, arms outstretched, hands dancing along the currents of the breeze. When I ushered her back in, they both went and grabbed their blankets and plopped down on the kitchen floor as if they were watching Disney's newest movie on the big screen. They sat and chatted. They yelled out when the thunder started and would laugh here and there when the rain blew toward the screen drizzling them a bit. But they were safe and dry. They watched from inside our home. They watched not worried about being caught in it, knowing I would make sure they kept the door closed and stayed safe. They carried on with their normal playing after 15 minutes or so of observing. They walked away and went about their merry way.</div>
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I've been thinking about this picture and their little storm experience all week. I've been pulling up this picture and thinking about all of the parallels in our own lives. Unbeknownst to me, the Lord was showing me something that morning. Something I want my kids to be a part of, not to just be a spectator of. While I'm so thankful my children were under my care during the storm and inside, safe and dry, it's far from what I want for my children in the grand scheme of things. In the grand scheme of life, relationships, and in society...I want my kids to be fearless. I want them to abandon their safety for the sake of someone else. I want them to run out, get wet, stand with a friend and feel the storm with them. I want them to take a risk to show love and support in the eye of the hurricane. </div>
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The joyous scene for my girls certainly would have changed if one of their little friends or cousins were standing in our yard getting soaked and crying from fear of the thunder and lightening. No doubt in my mind, Callie would have thrown back the door, yelled for her friend or would have gone out to help her get her to safety as quick as possible. </div>
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Would we, as adults, do the same?</div>
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Adults who have experienced many more years of life than little ones. Adults who have taken root in their pride, fear, judgment, anxiety, and finger pointing. Those of us who can tell you what you're doing right and wrong, but don't offer an ounce of love or grace to the suffering. Kids need to be taught how to act, how to speak, what to believe, who to love. Who are they taught to love? And HOW are they being taught to love? WE are their teachers, parents. WE are their mentors, their how to's, their eyes, their ears, and what comes out of those little mouths. It's all a reflection of us and what they are taught. Through word and deed, through accident or observance or a direct lesson or lecture. And I want to push my kids out the door. I want to urge them to pull back the screen and go running out with umbrellas, lifeboats, food, water, pure and undefiled love. Love that hasn't been tainted by the world, society's bantering, people group's segregations, or Satan's lies. I want them to hover around the one that the rain is beating down on. I want them to hold their hand and share in their fear and worry. I want them to be the ones to offer a word of kindness, a prayer for healing, a look of concern. I want them to give life to Jesus' commands to love they neighbor.</div>
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I want them to also know that running out in the storm means getting caught in the storm themselves at times. I want to caution them and I want to prep them. Praying for my storm chasers everyday. Filling their minds and hearts with God's Word will fuel them and strengthen them for ministry work. Befriending the excluded, sticking out their neck for the undeserving, and loving those who are unloving is no light task. No light task for any of us. There is risk for rejection, miscommunication, even being struck by lightening. But when the rain stops and the clouds break for the sunshine, I want them to know at the end of each day, they weren't dictated by fear. They were bold in loving others for Jesus. That they looked at someone and saw them and their need and did what they could to meet that need or love that person in need. I want them to lie down each night, exhausted from being used up for the kingdom, ready and willing to grab their life jackets on the way out the door the next day. </div>
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<span class="text Phil-2-3" id="en-ESV-29378" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">" </span>Do nothing from <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-29378F" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29378F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>selfish ambition or <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-29378G" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29378G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>conceit, but in <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-29378H" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29378H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>humility count others more significant than yourselves.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> </span><span class="text Phil-2-4" id="en-ESV-29379" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"> </span>Let each of you <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-29379I" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29379I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> </span><span class="text Phil-2-5" id="en-ESV-29380" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus." Phillippians 2:3-5</span></div>
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<br />Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-49691775344965079592016-03-21T20:47:00.000-07:002016-03-21T20:47:40.618-07:00The Worst Anniversary EverThis has been all in the last week: last Monday (a week ago), my oldest daughter came and got me after seeing blood in the toilet. We then ended up in the ER with her for half of the day ruling out possible scenarios, malfunctions, etc. While we are still in the process of getting her better, we were thankful to leave the hospital knowing what wasn't wrong with her. That night I was up all night with her after she had four accidents throughout the night- once in her bed, three in ours. She's almost 5, but with the frequent bladder issues, her muscles have become very weak and when she gets another infection, she can hardly get to the bathroom quick enough. The next night, my 2 year old ended up in bed with us and started throwing up. Adam then ended up sleeping in the living room floor with her where she threw up once more. The next day we sent Callie to school, having been on antibiotics for a few days. Her school called to let us know she was bleeding once more and was in intense pain and needed to be picked up. Her follow up with the pediatrician was that day where we were told she would for sure need a procedure done to further investigate her ongoing issues and would have to be sedated. Also we had to switch her to a stronger antibiotic because the one she was on wasn't doing anything. Saturday was set aside for us to go out to eat for our anniversary. I took off work and was really excited to get away with Adam after our crazy week. As irony would have it, I became pretty sick that evening and we had to cut our mediocre dinner short. I was able to rest up Sunday and in the middle of the night Adam started throwing up. He violently threw up all night into this morning and stayed home from work. I saw him briefly as I brought him more water and was switching out the laundry. Today is our 7th anniversary.<br />
Whoa. I mean, I can't even digest what this week has thrown at us.<br />
So in the midst of fear, stress, exhaustion, and worry, I'm now frustrated because my weekend didn't go as planned. Our plans of a night out was cut short and we only spoke today when I was ushering the girls out of our room to keep him quarantined. He even said to me in passing today, "This is the worst anniversary ever."<br />
Yep, can't say I disagreed with that statement. But in retrospect maybe I do disagree. No, we didn't get to have our big dinner and stay out as long as we wanted. Heck just to have him in the same room with me without running to the toilet would've been great. Reality is, life is hard. Life doesn't care what you have planned or what you're feeling, it just has a way of sucking sometimes. But this week, we gave life to these vows.<br />
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"to have and to hold, from this day forward<br />
for better, for worse<br />
for richer, for poorer<br />
in sickness, and in health<br />
to love and to cherish<br />
til death do us part<br />
according to God's holy law<br />
and this is my solemn vow."<br />
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These weren't our exact vows, but very similar. Let's be honest. When you have children, it's nearly impossible to hold each other. Our arms are full with little girls and garbage bags, and laundry baskets. Even when we're walking somewhere together, we're herding sheep. Making sure no one gets hit by a car and carrying 14 bags plus an infant seat. The best time to hold one another is in bed I suppose, but he'd have to get past my pillow and our two children who climb in between us almost nightly. He's started this thing saying, "Do you need 20 seconds?" He read somewhere that hugging for 20 seconds releases endorphins and puts you in better spirits. So he'll grab me as I'm running to get a bottle or to get Maci out of the sink. I usually try to keep walking but he usually wins. And let me tell you, it works. For 20 seconds, I have time to remember that I'm a wife. His wife. I can embrace this man and tell him I love him in the midst of chaos. I have the opportunity to show my girls how much I love their daddy.<br />
This week has been more worse than better and more sick than healthy. Sleep deprivation and long work hours thrown in with everything else has made this week purely survival mode. Bathe, eat, brush teeth, get to where you have to go, pay bills. We've been robot parents and robot spouses. We communicate through text on our work days if possible and even after getting off work, we're counting the minutes until we can fall into our bed. You can see where this vicious cycle would take it's toll on us. After this week, it could be very easy for us to be at each other's throats. But by the grace of God, we have stayed unified. I don't say that in a way that's implying our marriage is some great teacher to other marriages. But I say that to give glory to our Lord for helping us to keep each other priority in the midst of the ugly stuff.<br />
We love each other, we cherish each other, and we have each other. When I walked down the aisle in front of all of our family and friends 7 years ago, I made a life long commitment. I had no idea what that commitment would look like or how much work would go into it, but it's hard work, let me tell you. I wake up every morning and choose to love him. I choose to put his needs above my own. I choose to encourage him even with a simple text or a quick prayer on the way to work. He wakes up and chooses to love me. He puts my needs above his own. He encourages and strengthens me. There are no boundaries, no white elephants, no secrets, and no hiding. Everything is on the table at all times. If I need to be called out, he does it. If he needs to be more sensitive, I tell him to put his phone down and look at me when I'm talking to him. "I need your eyes" is something else he says to me when I'm distracted or half listening. Our honesty and transparency is the the lifeblood of this marriage. The Lord brought us together. He is my most precious gift and I am his. So while we are still figuring things out, have many more hurdles to jump, and many mountains to climb, I know that I'm never alone. He is the love of my life, the father of my children, the holder of my heart. He serves me and cares for me. He leads me and doesn't skirt around hard issues. We laugh. Man, do we ever laugh. My face has more lines in it than I had wanted at 31, but I can't regret them, because I know most are from laughing at my crazy husband.<br />
Happy 7th Anniversary my love. Let's keep having and holding and cherishing and loving. Our life wasn't promised to be easy or full of sunshine and rainbows, but we can walk through the rain hand in hand and keep our family before the Lord. Here's to many more!<br />
<br />Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-25974377991691574212016-02-17T20:01:00.001-08:002016-02-17T20:01:23.483-08:00We're not home yet"When it rains, it pours."<br />
Familiar with that phrase? Lived it? Ever felt like you were drowning in some kind of rainstorm without a trace of an umbrella, lifeboat, or break of sunshine in sight? Yeah...me too.<br />
I'm just gonna get straight to it...life sucks. Life is hard. Life is not fun. Life is unfair. Life is stressful. Life is unpredictable. I am convinced the older I get, the more difficult life becomes. The past year has been an uphill climb for me with lots of debris hitting me in the face, no safety harness attached, and a 300 lb man latched to my back. But before I loose everyone to all of the negativity this blog has opened with, I must clarify.<br />
My life would be considered good. Been married to my high school sweetheart for 7 years, have 3 beautiful, healthy daughters, a nice home, great friends, family and we are a part of an amazing church. My husband and I are both really happy in our jobs and are doing our best to live a life reflective of Christ. We've had our fair share of grief, heartache, and pain too. But the Lord has been faithful to us in those times and delivered us time and time again. So overall, I am incredibly happy about my lot in life at this very moment. I am blessed beyond measure with all the goodness our God has poured out. But that could change in the blink of an eye.<br />
There has been so much pain around us this year. People hurting everywhere. People suffering in silence or masking their deepest wounds for fear of judgement. Tears at every corner. Grief on the hunt like a starving bloodhound. Temptation dangling in front of lonely souls. Fingers being pointed and relationships divided. Trust has sizzled where it once thrived and unconditional love has been overshadowed by selfishness. Manipulation is at it's best while authenticity has taken a back seat. Gossip rings in my ears (literally..I work at a salon) and encouraging words are long gone. Pain and darkness seem to be overtaking humanity and we are all guilty of sitting back and watching our loved ones drown in it one by one. Or maybe you are the one crying out for help, loosing grip of your rope, and everyone is stand around watching you. If we're honest, I think at some point we have all felt like a lamb thrown into a pack of wolves.<br />
How do we make the pain go away? When will life improve? When will people stop getting sick and dying? When will evil disappear forever? When will everyone be genuinely happy and frolic around holding hands running through a glorious field under the canopy of a blue sky with perfect white clouds?<br />
We need to wake up. We need to realize the reality and severity of our world and the pain that exists within it.<br />
GREAT news is we can control our reaction to such pain. Our actions when someone else is hurting. Our response to a loved one who is dying. Our words when their is division. Our care when it is needed. Our love to give when someone is deprived of it. There are beautiful gifts of ourselves to give if we only open up. If we put others' needs before our own. If we see the good in people and aren't constantly blinded or stopped at the bad. If we stop trying to prove our skills and compare ourselves to others by how well we do this or that and instead come alongside each other and lift one another up. There is a lot of bad but there can be a lot of good too.<br />
In frustration and sheer exhaustion from a personal struggle, I lifted up my hands and yelled to my husband, "Why is life so hard?" His words were simple and life giving, "We're not home yet babe."<br />
I felt like the Lord smacked me across the face with my sweet husband's reminder. We were not promised an easy life. Many people question things about God when a loss or death happens. Or a lost job. Or a divorce. Or a family feud. "Why would a good God allow His people to suffer?" My response...what kind of person would I be without having gone through suffering at all? I don't know that I want to know that kind of person. For my fellow believers out there, we can be encouraged in Romans 5, "...but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope..." What kind of person would I be or anyone be without endurance, character, and hope?<br />
So the next time you hear of someone suffering, offer an encouraging word or prayer. If you are suffering, don't hide in it alone. Reach out and get help. There are many things friends of mine, clients, and people I don't even know are experiencing right now that I may never experience but that doesn't exempt me from the pain. We are called to carry each others' burdens and I intend to do that as best as I can for those who need or want their load shared. My dark days were always a little better with someone, anyone, shining the smallest glimmer of light.<br />
<br />Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-47009190339978988412015-11-04T12:58:00.001-08:002015-11-04T12:58:48.650-08:00Three daughters, oh my!Today I am 40 weeks pregnant with my third baby girl...wowza!! This last week I have been out of commission. I have sat in my house in very stretchy pants for days fighting random contractions and trying to rest, knowing how much sleep I'll be missing the next few months. I have held my girls close and have prayed over my belly in the tub night after night. I have slept terribly, tossing from one sore hip to the next, slowing maneuvering in a way that doesn't make it feel like my insides are being rearranged. I have literally punched my husband in the back from his snoring so loud (oops, he doesn't know that!). I have done little to no cooking and we're surviving on coupons and Adam picking up dinner here and there. I've walked our stairs and our neighborhood for Halloween, hoping something would make this baby come out. She ain't budging. And I am ok with that. Well, not at first. First I was really annoyed and angry and emotional. Still emotional, but now the Lord has softened my heart, reminding me good things come to those who wait. And I will be holding my very good thing in a few days.<br />
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As early as tomorrow, I will be meeting my third daughter, Rosie Mae. Lots of emotions have been on the surface today as I imagine our life with three girls. Callie and Maci have been enormous blessings to us and I know Rosie will fit right in. But I would be lying if I didn't say how insanely unsettling it is to think we'll be outnumbered, that potentially we could go through six proms, and there could be four menstrual cycles going on at once (take that in!). Not to mention, ahem, 3 potential weddings! I get into my own head a lot as a mother. Constantly second guessing my decisions when disciplining and trying to get it right. Showing love while keeping a balance so they can turn into functioning adults at some point. My husband and I make a great team, and I feel like we are doing all that we can; loving them and taking care of them and raising them in a God honoring way. My oldest is four so I haven't been in the parenting trenches too long, but long enough to know what I do want my girls to learn from us. So I've decided to list a few things as a reminder to myself to keep what's important first and everything else will work itself out.<br />
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To my girls, a short list of what I want you to learn from Mommy and Daddy (lots and lots of things to be added to this list as we all grow together):<br />
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1. Always be kind. Always. You never know what kind of hurt or struggle someone is going through that's causing attitude, hatefulness, or pure venom to be spewing out of their mouth, but we are called to love everyone. It's much easier to give attitude back when it's given to you. It takes someone of strong self control to let things slide and roll off your back.<br />
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2. Never give up. Go down swinging if that's what it takes to accomplish something you've got your sights on. Your daddy is a good example of that. He has worked his tail off providing for us while graduating college and holding a second job. We will always support your goals.<br />
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3. Forget about The Jones'. We are happy to give you girls things that you want for Christmas and birthdays, but we will not raise you to expect anything at any given moment. You will have lots of friends who have more than you and I want you to be ok with that. We are blessed in having one another and building our lives on our faiths in Jesus and finding joy in the eternal things, not things that break within a week.<br />
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4. Be a loyal friend. Mommy has been blessed to have friendships that I've carried with me through many years, ups and downs, and milestones in my life. I don't know what I would have done without some of them by my side, especially through the really ugly things in life. Find a few friends who love you and support you and tell you when you're being stupid. Cling on to them for dear life.<br />
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5. Be silly and laugh often. Daddy and I fell in love over jokes and laughter. We love making you all smile and belly laugh hysterically with our random dance parties and Daddy's crazy voices. This home will always be filled with laughter.<br />
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6. Ask questions. Mommy and Daddy will always be honest with you. If there's something you don't understand, please come to us and we'll talk through it. If we don't have the answer, we'll pray for peace for you and us until we have one.<br />
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7. You do you. We are all different and God has created us to be that way. How boring it would be if we all walked around looking, sounding like, and acting like everyone else. Don't be afraid to step out of the box and challenge yourself, even if it's uncomfortable at first. Don't worry about pleasing people and trying to fit into some mold our ever changing society has put together. Love Jesus and honor Him.<br />
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8. Never abandon family. Family is the closest relationships you'll ever have. Having sisters is going to be a challenge, but I know firsthand what sweet friendships come with sisters. You will be each other's first friends and I hope to see all of you grow together and stay closely connected through the years.<br />
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9. Go out of your way for others. Even if you don't know them. Friend the kid at school sitting alone. Hold open a door. Be respectful at all times to authority, even if you disagree with them. Talk to people and learn about people. We were created for community and friendships.<br />
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10. Love Jesus, pray often. Daddy and I are raising you in church and to know what Jesus did for you. We want to live out our faiths in our parenting and marriage more than any other area. We have already been praying and will be continuing to pray that He captures your hearts one day and that you choose to follow Him.<br />
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So these are just some things that were stirring in my heart. Still much to learn and to pass on to my girls. I am convinced being a mother is something that will challenge me and grow me until my last breath but I am so eternally grateful to be on this journey with our soon to be THREE girls!!Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-3445200955925822952015-07-01T17:48:00.002-07:002015-07-01T17:48:45.426-07:00A Word for my Fellow BelieversSocial media has become quite the courtroom hasn't it? With so many things changing in our culture, society, and government, it seems everyone has something to say about something. From Bruce "Caitlyn" Jenner, Josh Duggar's confession of molesting his siblings (which outraged me the most), something about the confederate flag (not sure what the deal was there), and now a big decision sweeping the nation to legalize gay marriage statewide. We are all standing before a judge, declaring who's innocent, who's guilty, who deserves what, and who doesn't deserve rights at all. We are slamming our fists in anger and going head to head with others who think differently. We have made our own judicial court with our own set of rules and guidelines and our own standards of whom we should and shouldn't show love to and who deserves to be punished.<br />
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I have seen this from many people, but a lot from my brothers and sisters who claim Christ. Those are who I'm pleading with today.<br />
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This is not a blog to talk about all of those things. My heart is heavy for many things, but mostly, I am finding people almost recreating Christianity, salvation, and their view of conviction to satisfy a very changing culture, but also to maintain good status in the church. The older I get and the more years I walk with Christ, I am seeing my faith differently. I am clinging to His grace all the more and realizing my defenses and anger have no place in evangelizing and being a reflection of Christ. Are there times to become angry? Yes. Jesus was rightfully angry when He stepped into the temple and saw it was being misused by a bunch of thieves. So angry He started flipping tables. I've been that angry too. I've let anger consume me in past years. To a point where I was constantly defensive, abrasive, rude, and short with others. By the grace of God, He broke me from that and made me realize I was standing in my own way to being a light for Him. There are things in my life that I've experienced that I'll still always have questions about, but I now know, I don't have to have the answers and I don't have to carry grudges.<br />
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I have read a lot of people's debates the last few months. I have cringed at responses and reactions from those who are in the church. I have stayed out of most and prayed when I wanted to interject. God knows I need to be silent at times. My husband does too, and is good at reminding me to reel in the frustration. He's God's greatest gift to me. I do believe there are times when we need to stand up for what we believe and in no way do I think we need to hunker down under a rock in the face of adversity when Christianity is quickly becoming the minority. I think we all need to remind ourselves of what it is we believe and how that effects our lives and should effect every facet of our lives.<br />
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What do you believe about God? His character? Your salvation? What does grace mean to you? Conviction, brokenness, and repentance? Why are you standing up for and revolting against something in anger if the Lord has no reign and rule in your life? If He has covered us in grace and love, shouldn't we be covering others with the same? I am more nervous than ever that our believers in our churches are shortchanging their beliefs and salvation as nothing more than a mere bandaid. We walk into society seeing what's going on, being backed into corners, or backing others into corners with no real grasp of what we're saying or doing. Have we allowed the transforming grace to grip us enough to walk in conviction to our own sins daily? Are we repenting? Are we being the hands and feet of Jesus to a lost and hurting world? Or are we wasting breath and years keeping our defenses so high and our walls so strong up around us, we have completely darkened any light that was once in us.<br />
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It's time we turn the finger around. Christianity is a call to continually self reflect. It's not something we label ourselves as because we sit in a church pew once a week. It's a calling to deny oneself and trust completely in the work of Christ on the cross. It's hanging up legalism and rebellion. It's not the robber who hung on a cross and demanded Christ to save him; it is a picture of the thief who hung on His other side, asking for forgiveness and in realizing his own wretched state, cried out for Christ to take him to Paradise. Are we the angry thief, blaming others for all there is wrong with us and the world or are we the other; the one who knows so desperately his need for saving grace.<br />
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In no way do I think this is watering down or should water down what is clearly stated in scripture. There are things in the Bible that are very black and white and I will stand upon the scriptures as God's very real words to me until the day I meet Him face to face. But no where in scripture does it say condemn in anger, point your finger in arrogance, or make those around you who believe differently feel as if they're inadequate in your presence. God created us all and the ugliness around us, towards us, and from us is dividing us. As a human race and as a body of believers. Instead of consuming ourselves with what we think about gay marriage or how we feel about the Duggars being taken off TLC, maybe we need a shift in our thoughts. We need to pray that God redeems our hearts for people in a big way. We need our eyes opened to our own struggles, shortcomings, and failures in remembrance that we are no better than anyone and should be all the more grateful that our Jesus paid the penalty for our sorry selves. So something I'm asking myself and want to ask of you:<br />
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When was the last time you did something for someone else, without any reason to, expecting nothing in return, simply to show the love of Christ?<br />
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Who was the last hurting person you prayed for?<br />
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When did you reach out to someone in need and go out of your way to help meet a need?<br />
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When did you last speak a kind word to a stranger?<br />
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These are all ways to tangibly show the love of Christ. In conversation with a friend today, she had read something about all of these debates, that I plan to read. The whole basis of the author's article was "is this a hill worth dying on?" It has stuck with me all day. What do I want to be known for when I'm gone? What do I want my children and grandchildren to remember about me when they're missing me? What legacy do I want carried on in my relationship to Christ? I don't want to be remembered for the hateful things I said, the lash outs that I was apart of, the explosvie anger that consumed me, or how many debates I "won" on Facebook. I want people to know that I loved Jesus to my core and tried to carry out that love in my day to day life in parenting, hairdressing, being a wife, church member, and friend. If I had to choose my hill to die on...let it be one where I'm serving others, ministering with my family, and enjoying the special relationships God has given me. A hill where all are loved despite race, religion, or sexual orientation. We have to start seeing people as just that, people. People that, believe it or not, were created by God. People that deserve respect and kindness at all times.<br />
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Legalistic one, put down your stone.<br />
Rebellious one, come to repentance.<br />
Calloused one, return to the joy of your salvation.<br />
Wavering one, commit to love Jesus wholeheartedly.<br />
Angry one, cast your anxieties on Him.<br />
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Let's love in action and stop hating in words. Together, we can get back to the heart of the gospel and the message that Christ's desire is for all to know Him.<br />
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<br />Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-27575591780089984782015-06-09T05:53:00.000-07:002015-06-09T05:53:27.813-07:00Home Sweet HomeToday we close on our very first home. I couldn't have imagined the emotions that would come about. I knew it would be somewhat sentimental, but my heart is on the verge of bursting from emotions and memories we've made in this home over the past 5 1/2 years. We are so very excited to be moving to a new home with more space, but I will definitely be leaving a piece of my heart within these walls. I remember when Adam and I first started house hunting. We were newlyweds living in our small townhouse (that we loved and I still miss it). We were so excited and ignorant at the same time about the process of buying a house, but we decided to contact a realtor. I remember walking into this house and thinking how much I loved it. I loved the open concept, the laminate flooring, and the oversized deck. I walked into each bedroom and imagined where a crib would fit and how our future children would grow and play. I wanted a home where we could have our family and friends over often. After two failed contracts on other houses, we found this home, and decided it was for us.<br />
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It was so fun picking out paint colors and deciding just how we would have our very limited assortment of furniture. When I found out I was pregnant with Callie, I was chomping at the bit to start planning her nursery. Owls, owls, owls!! As her room came together and my belly grew larger, I would sit in the dark, rocking in her nursery, anticipating her arrival. Singing to her, praying over her, and imagining her lying in my arms instead of nestled in my womb. I still remember the paint color, "Cinderella's Ball Gown". Goodness, how fitting for our four year old princess now. That sweet nursery, has turned into a toddler playground. That little squirmy baby that slept so peacefully in our first purchased crib is now on the verge of starting preschool. Where a diaper stacker hung, there is a backpack in it's place. I remember opening her closet and staring at how small the pink clothes were that hung. Now it's bursting with long dresses, coats, suitcases, and board games. The little one who kept us up all hours of the night our first few weeks together, now brushes her own teeth, goes potty solo, and jumps into her own bed. I still sing and pray, but she sings to me sometimes too. Sweet memories, I'm hanging on as tightly as I can.<br />
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The same for my second pregnancy, our bedroom, or when I would hang a new family picture. Each added touch was something that represented us. We've entertained, hosted small groups, had birthday parties, derby parties, Christmas get togethers, summer cookouts, and even had a baptism done in our bathtub. We've said goodbye to a puppy when he was picked up by the new owner and we've watched our other one turn more white over the years. We've had our share of leaks, squeaky floors, hot and cold days when our heater and AC have gone out, and times that I've really wanted to scream from feeling so cramped. Adam and I started this ongoing list, "In our next house....". The blanks have been filled in by a lot over the years; "we'll have more closet space," "I have to have a bigger kitchen," "we will have two sinks in the bathroom," "we need a garage." There have been a lot of complaints and things we would change, but I would argue they were so few and far between. We know the blessing this home has been to us. The too shallow of a sink where I gave my babies their first baths was perfect. The smallest room in the house became the perfect size for a second nursery. Our always cluttered, never swept basement, houses our girls clothes, toys, and our things from years of living life. We have never had a spotless house. You could walk in on any given day unannounced and see that it's been a house very much lived in. Many nights, dishes were left in the kitchen sink and strung out on the counters. Laundry piles have been bursting from closets while we stepped around them to get out the door. Dust has collected and dog hair has been lying in corners before I pulled out the swifter. I can proudly say, we've neglected some housework over the years to make sure we're living our life with our babies.<br />
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As we turn over our keys today to new owners, I can only hope and pray, they build as many fond memories as we have. That they have a home full of love and cherish each passing year together. Boxing up each room is very bittersweet, mainly because it takes me back to that year, that moment, when I decided to put that item, picture, or piece of furniture where it is. We are looking forward to the many years we'll have together as a family of five in our new home. A home where we'll bring our third daughter into our family. A home where we'll be able to host a community group with our church. A home where we will watch our girls grow from babies to school age children. A home that will host many slumber parties and girls' nights. A home where Adam can play pool and ping pong with his buddies. A home where, above all, we can show love, kindness, hospitality, and the love of Christ. I will always be thankful for the years we've been growing in this home together. The walls that have seen us laugh uncontrollably and cry out of deep sorrow. The bathroom floors that have held up the splash bath parties and the hot shower waters that beat on a sore back after long days of work. The neglected yard that has been overshadowed by long grass more often than not, but that many children have run on, giggling and kicking balls. The worn deck that has held up to many burgers, dogs, and barbecued chicken on the grill. Our cabinets and pantry have been filled with food, formula, and everything in between.<br />
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These walls have taken a beating, this home has been lived in and loved, and I can only hope it will miss the life we have given it. We will surely miss the life it helped give us.<br />
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<br />Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-44122119492405396472015-04-13T07:48:00.000-07:002015-04-13T07:48:25.627-07:00You Look TiredI couldn't count how many times I've been told "You look tired" or "You don't look like you're feeling well" or "Having a rough day today?" since being a momma. It's usually after a chaotic morning trying to get lunches packed and my girls to the sitter before my first appointment. Meanwhile, I've forgotten to pack my lunch AGAIN, and certainly didn't have time to put my makeup on, which my 3 year old will point out when loading into the van. "Mommy, why don't you have your lipstick on?" She loves lipstick. Seeing her eyes light up when she's choosing a color for me to put on her is a favorite thing of mine. It's usually dark pink with sparkles. And her love for lip color has certainly rubbed off on me, although most of the time, it's just plain 'ol cherry chapstick for this girl. I can remember before my babies came (barely) still rushing out the door to get to work on time. Why was I rushing? What in the heck was I doing? I must've been watching some compelling episode of Dawson's Creek before I took an hour long shower and only had to pack lunch for myself. Man, if I had only known the leisure of that!<br />
Most of the time, I respond to those "tired" comments with, "Oh, I don't have any makeup on" or "It was just a crazy morning" or sometimes no response at all, just a nod. Knowing I do look tired, I am exhausted, and every morning is unpredictable and usually a circus act getting out the door. Now expecting our third baby, some of the comments have gone to "Wow", and "What are you going to do with 3??" or "You think you're tired now!" Again, I respond with a shoulder shrug or "We'll make it work." I mean, we are not the only people in the world to have 3 kids and we will be fine. But you better believe, it's totally unsettling knowing we'll be outnumbered. My husband and I have been talking about getting another van. Who drives two vans?? Love my van, probably too much, but we can't have two vans. More talk about my oldest being enrolled in preschool this year, while my toddler and newborn will be shipped to my sister's, selling our house, finding/buying a new house before November, saving for my time off, my maternity leave falling at my busiest time of year, etc leaves my head spinning and me thinking we are crazy. I'm even more crazy for going back to work after this baby.<br />
We went to Gatlinburg this week with my in laws and it was a nice getaway, definitely better than expected. This was the first time traveling a long distance with Callie since she's been potty trained and first for Maci period. We had a fun week of arcades, shopping, the aquarium, and rides. Other than one evening of nausea, nothing catastrophic on the pregnancy symptoms either. But there were some things we had to work around. Our cabin was 3 1/2 stories with two flights of wooden stairs. Too wide for a baby gate, which we didn't bring anyway, and my Maci couldn't stay off of them. Her little legs are banged up pretty good from crawling all over them, despite our attempts to keep her off. That in and of itself was a feat. Also, we had to work our schedules around nap time, while everyone else was able to gallivant around town as they wished. Callie slept in our bed, because she was too scared to sleep alone, so even though it was a king size bed, we had feet or her booty in our backs for three nights. Packing for two adults, a toddler, and 3 year old....well, we might as well have moved in. Maci was in a stroller a lot, so she would get grumpy quickly and it was a fight to keep her contained most of the time. Callie was run ragged after all the activities and chose to talk mostly in her most high pitch whiney voice, while only listening to half of what we were telling her. After getting home Thursday, being able to relax a little, and letting our contained children run around in circles, we met our in laws for lunch Sunday for my husband's late birthday meal.<br />
We came straight from church. There was a 30 minute wait so I stayed in the van with Maci screaming hysterically to get out. We walked in to find everyone had their seat. I wrestled Maci into the highchair while Callie clung to me and pulled on my sweater. Maci began to scream for milk for about 15 minutes while Callie ran around the table, trying to sit anywhere but in her seat. I was trying to pour another milk into the kids cup, when it slipped, knocked over, and poured all into my lap. I was literally ringing milk out of my skirt and wiping the table and floor with napkins the rest of the meal. Chocolate milk mind you. We somehow made it home to nap and I laid in bed thinking nothing. Feeling nothing but a massive headache and wanting nothing more than to fall asleep. I rested my hand on my lower belly, somehow communicating with this growing baby inside me, "Hope you're ready for all of this."<br />
The thing is, I don't need or want sympathy. While I appreciate the concern and concerned comments, I don't need the "Poor Felicia." Yes I am tired. I work long hours, have two small children, and am fighting nausea with my third pregnancy in-between hilighting clients. We are very involved in our church and love it, but it's another thing we're committing our time to. So we have crazy week days, followed by busy weekends and I couldn't think of anything else we'd rather be doing. Yes, you'll probably hear me complain sometimes about there not being enough hours in the day or enough Tylenol in my purse. And believe me when I say, getting ready in the mornings makes me want to bang my head in the wall most days. I may look glazed over, out of it, and even sick. I may even look like I'm not happy at times. But please know, that couldn't be further from the truth.<br />
Sometimes when I call Adam in the middle of our crazy days apart, I'll ask him how he's doing and he usually follows up with "Living the dream." I smile slightly and chuckle a little, but it's a great reminder that we are doing just that. We have two beautiful daughters the Lord has given us. Two great jobs. A place to call home and a pillow to lay our sleepy heads on after our long days. A fabulous church and wonderful friends to call on when in need of some time away. The best family around, who help us with our children weekly. While I discipline, yell more than needed, and rub my temples often, I am grasping for time to slow down. I am soaking up the snuggles, stealing kisses when I can, and praying for my babies daily. I wanted nothing more than to be a mother when I was younger and the Lord has given me that gift tenfold. Three children will be tough, but I am blessed to have godly women and families around me who are raising children too. And if you're at a restaurant and see me fighting with my children or dragging one out the door or cleaning up another mess, just say a prayer for me that I appreciate even those moments. And if a comment does find it's way to our lips, do me a favor and make it a positive one. "You're doing a great job." or "Your children love you more than anything." Or even just a pat on the back. This momma is tired, but my heart is full, and my joy is complete in my Jesus.Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-31236191218638315892014-12-29T14:48:00.000-08:002014-12-29T14:48:56.852-08:00Lead Us Back in 2015Well it's been about 16 1/2 months since my last blog, which is the about the age of Maci. Reading my last blog about waiting for her arrival stirred up all kinds of emotions. But we are doing great as a family of 4! Maci is a fabulous little rascal who has all the spunk, attitude, and sweetness that you would expect from a sour patch kid. If she goes in for a kiss, better be ready for a punch or a bite...well that may just be with her older sister. In a nutshell, the Pryors are thriving as a foursome!<br />
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What brings me visiting my blog today is a lot really. A lot turning in my head and heart and sometimes I just need to unload. Which is what these things are for right? Feel free to X out this screen at anytime because I am not a woman of wise words; after reading this, you probably won't feel any differently than when you decided to read this initially, but thanks in advance for doing so! So the countdown is on to another new year...2015 is 3 days away! Am I the only one who thinks the years are flying by these days? I know I sound super duper old and mom like when I say something like that, but seriously? Could time just hold the rewind button for a minute before I'm prom dress shopping and watching my husband give my daughters away.....sheesh! Breathe Felicia- they are 3 and 16 months...still dragging stuffed animals around and climbing in my lap for snuggles and songs. Ok...I'm better.<br />
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Last New Year's Day, Adam and I sat down at the table and made a list of goals we wanted to reach for 2014. He made a list, I made a list, then we made a list together. It really was a great time to sit down and reflect on what's important together. Adam always says he wants us working towards something together, which I'm learning is a huge tool in strengthening our marriage on the daily. So anywho I listed a few things on my posterboard (these are by memory)...lose 30 pounds, participate in a bible study, exercise a couple times a week, etc. The big ones from our together list was find a new church home, put a firm "getting out of debt" plan into action, plan X amount of date nights, etc. I think some of his were similar with the exception of reading more books...why anyone finds that a leisure activity, I will never understand. But the man loves books. So in three days, we will sit down, pull out our lists and evaluate what's been accomplished, what hasn't, what we did and didn't do together. I know that list will breed some disappointment, but overall, it's just something to keep us focused on what's important and an encouragement to look forward to another year, another redo, another clean slate, another chance.<br />
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In a quick recap, 2014 was one that was filled with it's definite shares of growing pains. Right out the gate of 2014, we had to make an incredibly difficult and gut wrenching decision to leave our church abruptly. A church we helped plant. A church we poured blood, sweat, and tears into. A church we thought we'd be at longterm with our family. Without going into any detail, I will say that will always be one of the hardest decisions Adam and I have ever had to make. And that's how we started our new year. With people angry at us, pointing the finger at us, and wondering why we'd left so quickly. We had to face rumors of all kinds, especially with me working in a salon, that ironically sat right next to said church. Everything about it was painful and broke our hearts into a million pieces. It's amazing how you feel the overwhelming pain of something so heavily, you are sure you're going to drown beneath the weight of it all. But we did not drown and we did not wallow in our agony. The Lord quickly plugged us into another church and kept us moving forward, dragging our beaten hearts, reputations, and sorry selves alongside us.<br />
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We struggled as a family to stay afloat emotionally, but we found sweet comfort in the arms of our Jesus. We've watched and continue to watch people in our families fight, struggle, and stand firm. We had another bump in the road when we got our house ready to put on the market and made the decision to hold off the day before the pictures were going to be posted from our realtor. A few tears shed over that one, but after a glass of wine and a long conversation with my sweet husband, we knew it was the best decision at the time. We've had some friendships fall by the wayside and some days we shook our fists at the sky. But I know with all of my heart, with all of my soul, that God blesses through the growing pains, that He delivers His people who stay faithful, and He supplies for our needs. He sustained us with strength and pushed us out of bed each Sunday morning to get our kids and our family to church.<br />
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This past August we became members of Sojourn Community Church and honestly, was one of the best parts of our 2014. God knew exactly what He was doing and exactly where He was taking us. We were welcomed into a group of believers who allowed us to come and be encouraged, as guarded as we were. We were hearing God's Word as it should have been preached and were being reminded of God's promises to never leave us and to finish the work He started in us. The beautiful community we have with our fellow Sojourners is something to behold. My 3 year old is learning, thriving, and growing in the Lord and being encouraged by amazing leaders. We cannot put into words what this place and these people mean to us. We are home after wandering another year, we are finally home.<br />
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Our jobs have been great, I've never been busier and Adam had another promotion. Our babies are healthy. We have a home over us and food in our bellies (mine is still squishier than I'd like it to be). We have many things to be thankful for and in light of another year, another goal setting meeting, I am determined to keep Christ as the center of it all. Because I have to wonder...what if I didn't have a good job or a job at all? What if one of my children were ill? What if we were barely putting food in our house? Would I still be thankful then? Would I still give the Lord control or would I start to take back, live like I want, and throw my hands up in the air in despair? Although we feel like we are in a good place now, I do not want to live in the comfort of the familiar, the painless, or the ordinary. I want to give of myself, our finances when we're able to do so wisely, and sacrifice. I want my daughters to grow up knowing what it means to do something kind for their neighbor. I want to love people to the Lord because we are in no shape to produce any kind of salvation. There are many songs I love at Sojourn, but I will end with this one because it makes me burst in to tears nearly everytime I hear it. I pray we're all lead back to life in Christ. Free of rules, free of judgements, free of apathy, free of guilt, free of calloused and angry hearts. Cheers to 2015!<br />
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"Lead Us Back"<br />
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Falling down upon our knees<br />
Sharing now in common shame<br />
We have sought security<br />
Not the cross that bears Your name<br />
Fences guard our hearts and homes<br />
Comfort sings a siren tune<br />
We're a valley of dry bones<br />
Lead us back to life in You<br />
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Lord we fall upon our knees<br />
We have shunned the weak and poor<br />
Worshipped beauty, courted kings<br />
And the things their gold affords<br />
Prayed for those we'd like to know<br />
Favor sings a siren tune<br />
We've become a talent show<br />
Lead us back to life in You<br />
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You have caused the blind to see<br />
We have blinded him again<br />
With our man-made laws and creeds<br />
Eager, ready to condemn<br />
Now we plead before Your throne<br />
Power sings a siren tune<br />
We've been throwing heavy stones<br />
Lead us back to life in You<br />
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Here's the link to hear it on you tube, it's beautiful, go listen!<br />
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7vyiI9vC2wFeliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-17142857042398322912013-08-13T07:14:00.000-07:002013-08-13T07:14:48.266-07:00And baby makes 4!<div style="text-align: center;">
I have really got to get better at this blogging thing! My last post was like a year and a half ago! Anywho, I'm glad I have a place to release some thoughts, especially when there's lots of thoughts to be released. Today I am 39 weeks and 5 days pregnant with our second baby girl, Maci Pearl. My cervix has been completely stubborn this time, so an induction was scheduled for Thursday, two days from now on my due date. An entirely different experience than my first pregnancy/delivery altogether.</div>
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So while I wait to try to be induced on Thursday, I have lots to ponder. Lots. And lots to be thankful for. I have a beautiful, intelligent, thriving 2 year old who is the light of our lives. She makes life worth living and the bad days seem ok. Callie has given us so much joy and shown us how to be silly and loving. She is toddler perfection in our eyes. When Adam and I found out we were expecting another girl, we were over the moon. I am extremely close with my sisters and I'm so excited for Callie to share the unshakeable bond that sisters do with Maci...among the hair pulling, name calling, and throat punching that's bound to happen growing up. But an unshakeable bond nonetheless. Here's an updated pic of my gorgeous girl:</div>
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This was one of my favorites from her 2 year photo shoot. She's a beauty <3 p=""><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Thinking of having two kids is overwhelming to me at this point. We have such a fabulous routine established for Callie. She tells us whens she's hungry. Naps for atleast 2 hours a day and sleeps 12 hours at night, IN HER OWN BED. She has never slept in our bed and never will. Same with Maci. Word of advice for those of you with babies who ever want to sleep again...don't put your newborn in bed with you. Recipe for disaster and years of restless nights of sleep. End soapbox.</div>
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As I was saying, we've got this down. Yes she has the occasional meltdown in public. We have to spank her butt and put her in timeout when it calls for it. But overall, Callie is a fantastic child and has the best personality. Still working on the potty training thing but we won't open that can of worms in this blog. We feel like we have a good grip on what to do when she's screaming, gets a boo boo, or flares up with a fever. We make sure to take her places and do things with her so she's not glued to watching Bubble Guppies all day (even though she'd be in favor of that). She has a balanced diet without us being organic/vegan/paleo obsessed and the dr always says how healthy and perfect she is. She could eat more green veggies for sure, but I'm blaming that on her father. She inherited his close mindedness towards anything vegetable that isn't a potato. So she gets vitamins to help with what she's missing from those. And while respecting the decisions of my fellow granola parents to give their child/ren only things that grow from the ground, use cloth diapering, and wear beaded necklaces, please don't assume we all will parent like you or will want to (def have to end that one there or this blog will become entirely too long). Like I said, we feel pretty good about where we are in the parenting stage.</div>
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What will happen when we have a toddler AND a newborn?? I often think of the hardest days coming my way. The sleepless nights, the nursing attempt (another day, another blog), the possible acid reflux Maci might have that Callie did that kept her spitting up for months on end that smelled like fire. I think of Maci screaming in my arms while Callie is drawing on the walls or running into the street while I'm home alone with them. (Callie hasn't done either btw, just a very extreme example of said fear). I think "how are we going to do this? how??" And then I remember, we're not the first and we certainly won't be the last family of 4. Things will be undoubtedly hard at first. Yes, no sleeping for the first few months. Days where we all sit around and cry and I forget to eat because I've got a baby on my boob and a toddler peeing in the floor. Probably days I forget to feed my attention starved and literally starving chihuahua from all the chaos. Days where I want to throw my arms in the air and give up. </div>
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But that's what parenting, especially a newborn, is right?</div>
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But what is different this time, that calms all my fears and leaves me longing for Maci to get here quickly are the sweet moments and memories waiting to be unfolded. Getting to see Callie as a big sister. She already kisses my belly everyday and says we can't wait to see you. She's gonna be such a rockstar big sister. She carries her babies everywhere, paying close attention to rocking them, feeding them their bottles and even puts them in Maci's swing when she needs her hands free. Watching her with other newborns already captures my heart, so I can't imagine the feeling of seeing my girls interacting together. It's a blessing I am aching to see and watch through the years. I am excited to see us transition from a family of 3 to 4 and all the things that come along with that transition. I'm looking forward to seeing how Adam handles all these girls and what a mushball he will become being a daddy of two daughters. I am mostly looking forward to all of the love that will fill our home with Maci as part of our family. I can't imagine loving another child as much as I love Callie, but like the cheesy line from Sister Wives says, love is meant to be multiplied, not divided. (I should also insert here that is the only thing I take away from that show this is beneficial. Why a man would want more than one wife is beyond me.) </div>
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I can't wait to meet Maci. I can't wait for Callie to meet Maci. I can't wait to bring her home and let the chaos begin. The beautiful, never ending, chaos. The crying, the laughing, the frustration, the unexplainable love. We have a lot to learn as parents and are doing the best we can now. We'll have a lot to learn as parents of two 27 months apart. It'll be a test, but a challenge we're welcoming with open arms. Being a mother is the best job in the world and although this pregnancy has been difficult, it's something miraculous I'm thankful to have experienced a second time. </div>
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So now, we wait.</div>
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Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-796001849025333962011-10-11T20:22:00.000-07:002011-10-11T20:22:42.425-07:00Courageous: Am I?Today Adam was off work which was strange since he never has a day off during the week, but I loved it. With this random day off, we tossed around a few ideas on how we could spend this lovely Tuesday. Courageous came out last weekend, and since we missed seeing it with our church, and heard nothing but fantastic reviews about it, we thought it'd be worth seeing. And since we had decided on the 1:05 p.m. matinee, we had to load up Callie and take her with us. She did great napping in her car seat while the movie played. Thank God we have a baby who knocks out when the lights dim. I think the people who saw us walk into the theater with our baby were relieved she slept as well.<br />
After all of the ranting and raving about this movie, I kind of already drew my own conclusions as to what happened and what it would be about. I already figured out the big tragedy from the previews so was prepared to cry. And boy did I. I was just hoping the acting would be better than the previous Christian films made by the same people and it was. I was really surprised by the movie all around...how good it was, how convicting it was, and how it made me think about things I really didn't want to. I guess God is good at putting something in your path to knock you down when you think your riding along without a care in the world.<br />
I have a wonderful, blessed life. I am married to my best friend and love of my life. I have friends and family that support me no matter what. We now have a 4 month old daughter who has brought out this entirely different kind of love and joy in our hearts. We are blessed to have great jobs that we love and to have a home. We love our church, and even more recently, our new Sunday School class. We are trying to get more involved here and there in ministry and outreach. From the look of it all, it would seem everything is lined up for us. And we are happy, very happy. Being comfortable and happy with our lives can lead to a contentment that can be poisonous if we're not careful. Poisonous in a way where there's no relationship at all with our Lord. He's been so good to us, so why do I find it so hard to be who I know I should be for my God? I pray continuously for discipline, motivation, blah, blah, blah. I still go to bed without reading, without praying, and without spending anytime with my Father.<br />
As I prayed over Callie tonight, I was overwhelmed with how much love I have for her. Watching the movie today was a big reminder of how short life is and how precious the moments are that we spend with our children. Even if she is just a baby still, it's so important for us to make time with her a priority and it is. She is my everything and the outpouring of love that I have for my daughter is indescribable. I cry when she cries and her laugh makes any bad day bright. I could stare at those blue eyes all day and blow raspberries on her cheeks until I run out of breath. She's our angel sent to us from our Lord and when I approach Him in prayer praising Him for her, I can hardly contain my emotions. And tonight when I was praying, He opened my eyes to something. The unimaginable, unexplainable, out of this world love that I have for Callie, my Lord has for me. And I have been neglectful of His love for too long.<br />
The movie was a great charge for fathers, but as a mother, I took the same charge to heart. I don't want to be just a good enough mom. I want to be a God fearing mom. I want to be the mom who makes it to all of her games or dances or whatever she wants to be involved in. I want to be right there cheering her on, encouraging her in every way. I don't want to be too lazy or tired to take her shopping, or to talk about boys, or to pray with her when she's hurt. I want her to know that she has a mommy and daddy that love her and that love the Lord. She is everything to us. Our Lord should take priority over her. How can that not revolutionize my day-to-days with Christ?<br />
In conclusion, if you haven't seen Courageous, go see it. See it with your family. And as I was instructed to do, bring kleenexes because the napkins from the concession stand just aren't the same.Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-8214634090262380812011-08-03T18:35:00.000-07:002011-08-03T18:35:12.337-07:00Callie Jane: The Roller Coaster to Her Arrival<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Wow...I almost forgot I had a blog! LOTS has changed since my last blog in December, when we didn't even know what our little baby was. Now we are the proud parents to our sweet baby girl, Callie Jane. She is 10 weeks old and growing so fast. She is perfect in every way and I know that I am totally biased, but she's the most beautiful thing. Much to our surprise, she came out with a head full of curly, red hair..one of my most favorite things about her =) She was a whopper at 8 lbs. 7 oz. and 21 inches long! Our doctor tells us to be on "roll patrol" when we clean her...I love her fat thighs and double chin! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Callie's arrival did not come without pain, endurance, and a somewhat traumatizing labor. When people ask me how the labor and delivery was, I almost want to sugarcoat it, especially for my friends who are expecting their own bundles of joy. And Callie is the biggest joy and I will do it again and she was totally worth it. However, the journey to get our little one here was one that I will never forget.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">My due date was May 25th and I worked up until she was born. I actually was doing a haircut the Friday before she was born and had a few contractions but was able to push through them to finish up my client (and it still looked really good!). I started having contractions Thursday night, May 19th, while walking the mall with our friends Matt and Ashley (she was also pregnant at the time but has since given birth to her sweet girl, Annslee.) Being my first pregnancy, I had no idea what to expect with the contractions and with my zero pain tolerance, I was terrified of them. My first few contractions hurt, but were tolerable. Friday morning my mom and I walked around my neighborhood for an hour, with me having to stop every 15 minutes or so with contractions. I went to work, did a few appointments, and Adam and I met my mom and step dad at Cattleman's for dinner. The entire dinner, I was having contractions 10 minutes apart..they were much more intense than the night before and I remember banging my steak knife on the table a few times and the waitress being totally freaked out. We left and they kept coming, to where they were about 8 minutes apart. Adam called the doctor and they told us to come in. Something I will never forget about the whole process was when they would check me...HORRIBLE! It didn't help that this nurse was about half my size, blonde hair, and very attractive, with her, what felt like, entire arm inside of me. So all the while I'm screaming at her in pain, I'm also thinking I wish I had an ugly, fat nurse. Anywho, turned out I was only 1 cm and they sent us home. Being sent home is an awful feeling..we went from an elated feeling of our baby possibly being born to an overwhelming disappointment. They offered me a sleeping aid and I declined. Never decline. I don't know what I was thinking.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Anyway, I was up all night with contractions. Saturday contractions kept coming, starting out at 20 minutes apart, and eventually that evening they were down to 7-8 minutes apart. Same song and dance..we called the doctor, they told us to come in, loaded up the car, and Adam wheeled me into triage for the second night. Being checked still was the WORST thing ever and by this point I had adapted a few words that became my companions until she arrived. Shit and sorry. I would scream "Shit!" followed by "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I'm surprised I didn't adapt more words than that. Still had the cute, annoying nurse, who was not sensitive at all and acted annoyed that it hurt me so bad. I was only 1-2cm and they sent me home and I cried and cried and cried some more. By this evening, we hadn't slept in 2 nights. It was impossible to find a position to ease the pain of the contractions. People described them to me like intense menstrual cramps..I guess they were like that at that point. But definitely could not sleep. I sat up against the headboard because lying down was out of the question. I would sleep between contractions which were about 10 minutes apart by 10:00 Sunday morning. At 11 we headed to my mom's because she had a jetted tub and I thought it might help to have a hot bath. Sunday was the worst day of my life.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">The contractions were unlike anything I had ever felt. No one can prepare a person for what I went through on Sunday. Still had the very intense cramping, but then back labor started. Up until this time, I had no idea what back labor was or that it even existed. It literally felt like I had a ring of squeezing, stabbing, burning from my lower belly, all through my lower back. I couldn't lay back or lean forward. I would drape myself on Adam, my mom, and Victoria (my younger sister) and scream. I screamed and cried for 9 hours. 9 hours of pure hell. The contractions were 6 minutes apart for 9 solid hours. I didn't want to go back until my water broke because I refused to be sent home again. But we had to go or I was certain I was going to die. So called the doctor, loaded up, and headed to the hospital. This time was the worst. I screamed all the way there. Adam wheeled me into triage, while I had my face buried in a wet washcloth. The nurses were nice, and heavy. And they took excellent care of me. I was 4 cm and FINALLY they admitted me. Praise God!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">The doctor on call that night was Fiddle--something or another..I called her Dr. Fiddlestick. She came into the triage room to assure me they were keeping me, then asked, "You ready for that epidural?" I could have french kissed that woman on the spot. It was like there was a light shining around her..some kind of angel person. I think that was the first time I had smiled in 4 days. After the epidural, I was feeling just fine, despite my unbelievable exhaustion. She broke my water and got the ball rolling. In no time it seemed I was almost ready to push..and then a another small detail arose. Baby was "sunny side up", which led to an hour and a half of pushing. Seriously...I need a nap reliving all of this. Even though the first time I saw her is something I will never forget and she was beautiful, I think we can all agree that newborns being pushed through a small hole, have some appearances about them that c section babies miss. And since she was face up, she had bruising on her forehead and eyes. After that, everything seemed like I was in a dream. I wasn't the mom who screamed in joy when I saw her. I cried and kissed her and pretty sure after that I entered the twilight zone. I remember at one point Adam bringing her over and I couldn't hold her because my body simply would not allow me. I wasn't able to really hold her until a couple of hours later. I remember looking into her eyes and thinking nothing of the pain. Her little face was all I wanted to stare at. Her first tiny grasp on my finger melted me to pieces. I was out of my mind in love with her.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Callie is everything we've ever wanted and God overdid Himself by sending her to us. She's growing and learning everyday. She smiles all the time and I love to hear those sweet coos. She looks like her daddy with my nose. Her hair naturally falls into a faux hawk. She has rolls on her legs, arms, and face. She has the most beautiful blue eyes with curled up, light lashes. She is the epitome of perfection and she is showered with love with every passing day. As cliche as it is, we cannot image our lives without her and really don't know what we did before we had her. She's everything to us.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Here are some pics of our big girl:</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-anhbUZj2PcTNWu5UeiHjHnIeigveEXyQyP-fzajfuI8V_DLU-l8KY5CEAag6kqMTEcizZiAiyPSASLF7DbAcBAbEQn9s5Zj0tojp5B2aZYnniwW9EUdO1xP6h36jJ2q9kKFbmxZL5Fhj/s1600/100_1273.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-anhbUZj2PcTNWu5UeiHjHnIeigveEXyQyP-fzajfuI8V_DLU-l8KY5CEAag6kqMTEcizZiAiyPSASLF7DbAcBAbEQn9s5Zj0tojp5B2aZYnniwW9EUdO1xP6h36jJ2q9kKFbmxZL5Fhj/s320/100_1273.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> Adam with Callie in our Mother/Baby room</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> </span>Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-80333612585900333532010-12-07T10:57:00.000-08:002010-12-07T10:57:58.256-08:0016 weeks and counting!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can't believe it's been nearly two months since my last blog, but we've been super busy. It now being December, you can imagine all the bustle. Christmas shopping, decorating, and preparing for our bundle of joy coming next year. We find out in two weeks what Baby Pryor is and we couldn't be more ecstatic! Last night we ordered the nursery furniture and it should be here next week. That in and of itself makes things seem more real. Here's a picture of the crib. We also ordered the matching 5 drawer dresser and changing table.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am 16 weeks and time is flying. All of the nausea has subsided and I'm really just enjoying the whole process now. I pray a lot for this little one..for safety, that they're growing the way they should be, and for them to come to know the Lord someday. It seems there's quite a baby boom going on and a couple of those other pregnancies are right around me. With Victoria due in March with her second baby girl, Natalee Grace, she's been super helpful and encouraging. Also, some of our very best friends Matt and Ashley are expecting their first baby together so I'm looking forward to spending some time together doing all of the fun mommy-to-be things that you do, with her. Victoria is due in March, I'm due in May, and Ashley is due at the end of July so we'll have 3 babies all 2 months apart..how exciting! </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Adam and I finally nailed down the names after a very grueling, exhaustive process. I mean, this is a huge deal. Naming someone for the rest of their life is something we didn't take lightly and I thought we would never agree on anything, but by the mercies of God, we did. So drumroll please....If it's a girl, her name will be Callie Jane and if it's a boy, Jonah Anthony. We love them =)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I cry at the drop of a hat and I think it's a mixture of things. Yes, my hormones are jacked, but I think it's more than that. The joy of the baby coming has made me a ball of mush. On top of that, this time of year really makes you miss those who aren't here. With Thanksgiving already passed and Christmas right around the corner, I can't help but long for Grandma and my dad. This will be the first Christmas without Grandma and I know it's going to be hard for my mom, as was Thanksgiving. But she was there with us then and I know she'll be present with us Christmas morning. She would have been so excited to have 2 great grandbabies on the way and my dad would have been beside himself. My mom keeps telling me she hopes I have a boy, since she's sure he'll look just like my dad did when he was a kid. And he was adorable. So maybe that's why I have it stuck in my head that we're gonna have a Jonah, but we will be just as excited if it's a Callie. We keep telling our friends and family that no one will know what the baby is til Christmas, but we'll see! It's gonna be so hard to keep it in once we know..</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div></div></div>Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-44274785555477288452010-10-10T18:54:00.000-07:002010-10-10T18:54:47.836-07:00Baby on the Brain<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So while we are anxiously waiting to go to the doctor for the first time next week, this whole being pregnant thing has completely consumed me. My thoughts, my worries, my fears, my excitement. So many new emotions have risen to the surface, all while loving every minute. If I had to peg one symptom for the past couple of weeks it would be nausea, with being tired out of my mind coming in second. I wondered when the "Is this really happening?" would turn to "Ok this is really happening." And this past week, I think it has done just that. I get mixed reviews from people about their experiences in the first trimester, as far as being sick and what not. I have been lucky not to puke, but as soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning, I feel like I just stepped off a boat. Other than that, it's been so neat to read how big the baby is getting and what it's developing. I think I'm about 9 weeks, which makes BP the size of a medium olive and it's starting to move a little. It's eyelids are almost covering the eyes and I can feel my uterus getting hard. It's incredible. </span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">We bought him/her a little UL onesie and I ordered some maternity clothes and some little owl booties, since I love owls, and so will BP. Among our battling over names, Adam and I did find some common ground on the bedding. Honestly, I don't think he'd care either way what bedding I choose, but the fact that he went crazy over this one just won me over. So if BP is a boy, here is his bedding:</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Arrrgggg....I love it!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">If BP is a girl, here's the bedding I know she'll love...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Seriously, every time I look at it, I fall in love with it all over again. And for the record, her name will not be Haley.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Adam's sister Erin is going to be gracious enough to give us her daughter's crib and dressers and they're a maple color and really cute. I know we don't find out for awhile, but I already can't wait to find out if there's a little prince or princess in there. I will update after our doctor's appointment Monday!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div></div>Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-45041610425526843632010-09-19T21:11:00.000-07:002010-09-19T21:11:57.537-07:00Baby Pryor is a brewin'I am so happy to post that Adam and I are expecting our first baby! I cannot believe what I am even typing, saying, shouting..it's the most surreal thing I have ever experienced. We had been trying for 3 /12 months or so and honestly can't believe the Lord blessed us so soon. I took two tests Thursday morning and actually had Adam on the phone when I had the dollar store test stuck in the cup of pee and immediately two lines popped up. So much to my surprise, I quickly got off the phone, called one of my very best friends, Crystal, who lives in WA and is a medical assistant, and had a mini freak out. She assured me that if the test came up positive that fast, then it was in fact, positive. Regardless, I insisted on taking a digital test, thinking in some way that would make me feel better. So I gulped down a few swigs of water and watched the test pop up "Pregnant". So here I am sharing this with the world.<div>This weekend has been a whirlwind of emotions and nerves. I kept quiet for longer than I ever thought was possible with such a giant secret. To make things even more exciting, my best friend of 13 years delivered her second baby girl Friday evening and little Emily Ann is such a beauty =) So between going to the hospital and working a full day Saturday with a dinner theater Saturday night, Adam and I decided we would dedicate today to telling all of our family and close friends.</div><div>Overall today was wonderful. The encouragement and excitement from the people we hold closest to our hearts made everything so much more real. Like, ok I am really going to be a mommy. Wow. Something I've prayed about for so and wanted more than anything. I am just speechless to think that this little angel is starting to make itself at home in my belly. Adam is ecstatic as well and we have really enjoyed just basking in this unexplainable joy the past few days. We've already laughed and cried so much and we know there is such a crazy road in front of us.</div><div>As far as symptoms are concerned, not too many at all. Just feel a wee bit more tired than normal and have had some lower abdominal cramping. My mind has almost been arguing with me, telling me that we're telling people a lie because I don't feel any different. But I have been told numerous times that things will quickly change. I am very much looking forward to the upcoming months, no matter what they may hold.</div><div>To answer the questions of how far along I am and when I'm due...well, haven't been to the doctor yet, but a good estimate would be 4-6 weeks and due between mid and the end of May. We don't have many May birthdays in my family, so that will be exciting. This baby will be my mom's 7th grandbaby so she is super pumped. My younger sister, Victoria, is expecting her second baby and he/she will be two months older than his/her cousin- how exciting! I am blessed to be surrounded with friends and family who have just gone through pregnancy or are presently going through it with me. I know that Adam and I have tons of support and feel so uplifted right now. We will continue to pray for the healthy growth and development of our baby and I will do all that I can to help give this baby a healthy home to live in. </div><div>God is so good and I am extremely grateful to have the opportunity be a mother. I still find myself shaking my head in disbelief, but I think in the coming weeks, everything will become much more real. Here are some pics of the tests that I took and the sticker message that we spelled out in my mother-in-law's photo album that we got her...</div><div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Welp that is all for now. I am off to bed to try and calm my brain from freaking out so much. I will post with updates!</div><div><br />
</div>Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-13370260489542365872010-09-12T16:26:00.000-07:002010-09-12T16:26:31.741-07:00Costumes and a new tat!I know it has been forever since I've posted anything and this one won't be as long as most of my entries. I just HAD to show off these costumes I found at Pottery Barn Kids today..so wish I had a baby to dress them up in these! But since I don't, I called up my good friend Ashley, and told her she must buy this adorable Owl costume for her precious daughter, Emma. I love all things owl and just couldn't stop starring at it...<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Cutest costume ever right???</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">After I called Ashley, I quickly called my sister Victoria to tell her about the cupcake costume that stole my heart the second time. She doesn't know it, but Aunt Fe Fe (that's what her daughter calls me), will be buying this little outfit and the matching basket for little Miss Raylen =)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6XtNj7OSaauHvqGMEzEaUJELXs3yrRb6H0een89BZhN2TS0aEByVnoVex6O41mFXebAy81HRCBB0V9LJuAx2cKyuDsHC7kPiGzhy0pUqHhCeZY7R2S1CnPQBcLhZzdHe0tH7YDmqumUnA/s1600/cupcake+costume.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6XtNj7OSaauHvqGMEzEaUJELXs3yrRb6H0een89BZhN2TS0aEByVnoVex6O41mFXebAy81HRCBB0V9LJuAx2cKyuDsHC7kPiGzhy0pUqHhCeZY7R2S1CnPQBcLhZzdHe0tH7YDmqumUnA/s320/cupcake+costume.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">One more thing- I got my third tattoo last night, as a tribute to my wonderful husband Adam, of a year and a half. I freaking love it. It's an "A" and an "F" with the bible verse that he game me on our wedding day...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">You might have to turn the computer a little to see it- I couldn't figure out how to turn the picture. That's all for now!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-61977766658459735072010-08-16T21:38:00.000-07:002010-08-16T21:38:12.066-07:00Over it..Excited for it..Planning it<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So in a nutshell, I am over traveling (for awhile anyway), totally excited that my sister is due with her second baby, and completely up to my ears in planning showers and parties. I thought in the beginning of summer that I would love the traveling that Adam and I had planned, but is it ever exhausting, on the body and the wallet. After my trip to Gatlinburg with the girls and Adam's getaway wedding weekend to Atlanta, we are calling it quits on the trips for a few months. Well of course until my birthday weekend- we are planning to visit Cincinnati for a couple days so I can finally go to IKEA and there's also supposed to be a concert we're going to- but that's not til November so we have some time to chill.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I haven't shared my most recent fabulous news with the blogger world, my baby sister is pregnant with baby #2!! Yay! I am overjoyed to say the least and had been keeping it a secret so she could surprise the pants off my mom when we picked Victoria up for our trip. Needless to say, Mom still kept her pants on, but she did scream and run around the van. It was very sweet what they did for Mom- see for yourself:</span><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Victoria is due March 19 but they plan to take her the 12th since she had a c-section with Raylen. Which brings me to my next thing I've been consumed with- shower planning. We have very good friends of ours (Derrick and Melinda) who are adopting their first baby and I am collaborating with some of Melinda's family to throw her the most awesome shower ever. Melinda and Derrick are so special to us for so many reasons. Mainly because, more than anything, they are loyal and true and very dependable. Through the years, Melinda and I had remained dear to each other but had never had the opportunity to have a friendship. After the Lord brought us back to our church home, Melinda and I became inseparable almost immediately. She is now one of my very best friends and I don't know what I'd do without her. Adam also looks to Derrick like a brother and it was a no brainer that I wanted a part in this shower. They are going to be incredible parents and we are all so excited to see what Boo Boo Jeffries is gonna be. Until then, we must invite, decorate, eat, play, and shower her with love and gifts at the end of October. Here's the decor that we're going with for her shower: </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know, it's adorable right? I have tons of great ideas for favors and centerpieces and can't wait to rack my brain for games and prizes. I keep telling people I was born to do hair and party plan. I know that she'll love anything that we put together, but we are gonna rock the house with this shower. But before I get busy with birdies and trees, we are gonna have some fun with Mickey Mouse for my niece, Kotey's, 2nd birthday party. We decided to host the bash this year and we are stoked. I had a somewhat obsession with this adorable mouse most of my middle school years, so the love came rushing back when I was given the green light to start planning. Even though she'll only be 2, the adults must be entertained too! A day of Mickey galore, cake, cornhole, pinata swinging, and an astro jump will surely not disappoint. Check out these decorations and tell me if you don't resort to a little kid again:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;">Ok I"ll show you one more set of decorations that I'm looking at for Victoria's baby shower (which probably won't be til January but early bird gets the worm, right?). She's only about 10 weeks so we obviously don't know the sex of the baby, but I fell in love with this adorable jungle theme:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I will have a bridal shower to plan for one of my very dear friends, Autumn, but that won't be til February so haven't went that far yet. She's getting married in April and I have the honor of being her matron. So I have been a very busy bee indeed. I know that I'll be seeing streamers and balloons for months, but it's so worth it to make those days special for the wonderful people in my life. Will try to update this thing more often!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</span>Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-32335439344464095232010-07-05T21:18:00.000-07:002010-07-05T21:18:28.381-07:00The Seattle Blog<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">So, as promised, here is the very much awaited Seattle/Tacoma blog. And as everyone can see, I did indeed survive the flights, something that I was terrified of. And why is it that flying is scarier than driving? I mean there isn't any traffic and the chances of the plane crashing aren't very high (I don't really know what the chances are technically but I think it's low). Now granted, I wouldn't recommend watching a special on September 11th pre flight or pulling out Final Destination. That'll mess with you forever and then all of a sudden you think you're having these visions of everyone dying and it's just crazy...wasn't Devon Sawa in that movie? Where the heck has he been?? Casper was his best movie by far. Anyway, with my fears alive and well and my IBS medicine at work, I boarded the first plane with Adam to head to Seattle. I also said a prayer every time I went to the bathroom, which was a lot, since, well, I have a stomach disorder and all. This plane was a smaller one- two seats on each side and I opted for the window since Adam has tree branches for legs. I think he wanted to trade soon after, after the Amish couple sitting across the aisle from us started to read a book out loud. Correction, the girl was reading the book out loud to her husband, boyfriend, whatever. I don't know if he couldn't read or if she just wanted to be super annoying but she succeeded nonetheless. Overall, though, that flight and the one after was pleasant and I actually found myself enjoying being above the clouds, so far away from everything that made me feel comfortable and protected. I could have done without the pee smell on the second plane and the girl who looked like Barbie sitting next to my husband with blue jean underwear, er shorts, on barely covering her womanhood but I could have been mistaken. Oh yeah, then we had Johnny-lean-his-seat-back breaking my knee cap off when he jumped up from behind me to occupy the vacant seat in front of me. But overall a nice flight, and hey, it could have been worse.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">Landing is the best feeling in the world... for those who fly, I think you'll agree with me. I hear that taking off and landing are the worst, but I love landing. When I hear the pilot say "We have begun our descent", I get oh so excited. I don't care if we smoothly roll onto the pavement or hit it hard enough to make me bite my tongue...the feeling of being on the ground in so satisfying. And this landing was especially wonderful, because I knew, a hop, skip, and jump away was my dear friend waiting for me. I remember going up the escalator and seeing Crystal, Aaron (her hubby), and Maverick in her arms. I was overwhelmed with emotion. Crystal and I have been the best of friends since I was a freshman in high school-let's do the math- nearly 10 years. She is so special to me and we have the most unique friendship. We go very long periods of time without seeing each other, the most being 2 1/2 years, when she came in to be a bridesmaid in my wedding last March. She and I share such a connection. even through the miles between us, it's just overwhelming to see each other and hug each other and know that there is a person behind the hour long phone calls. She moved to Texas soon after she graduated, then married Aaron and they were stationed in Hawaii for awhile. After Aaron was discharged from the service, they moved to Washington to be with his family. It had been a little over a year this time and I was more than ready to see her and meet her precious baby boy, who is only 9 months old.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">In preparation for this trip, Crystal was trying to come up with things to fill our agenda while we were there. I told her I was perfectly happy with hanging out with her everyday and kissing all over Maverick's face, and I did a lot =) And let me add here that he is probably one of the most well behaved babies I have EVER been around and he shot my baby fever through the roof =) Anyway, the 5 nights and 6 days we were there was a blast. It was just the right mix of sight seeing and lounging around. Our first night at their house consisted of Aaron grilling chicken wings and playing catch phrase. It was so nice to just be lazy together. However, the rest of our weekend was filled with shopping, double date night to a yummy bar-b-que place and my first experience at a casino, fun days in Seattle and Tacoma, and a church service Sunday morning at Mars Hill Church. Went went to a cute little farmer's market that was in town and bought a bag of yummy cherries to munch on. She also introduced me to the most adorable baby boutique called Sugar Babies that I plan to keep an eye on for the future Pryor children ;) I think my most favorite times, though, were those spent with her laughing, talking, catching up and just seeing her as a mommy. She's such a wonderful mom, as I knew she would be, and Maverick is such the little miracle baby. I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with joy for her for this little angel that God has blessed her with. Leaving Crystal was difficult and goodbyes will always be hard when someone has such a piece of your heart. But I am so thankful for our friendship and the many memories we made in Seattle and Tacoma. Here are some pics of our trip.....</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUpiZgrlWryOt0TvENBZUd7dyfKeVdo8fkyb2mgXnvBmGugM-8Srxp2rCCYLWOGv5b7tdze1V_u7ddSn_B-zAiRcmC9282vMNl80Ds28HHFXuJ6k7ms9noGWyvcK-PD1GL-NTYfKEEZw0c/s1600/seattle1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUpiZgrlWryOt0TvENBZUd7dyfKeVdo8fkyb2mgXnvBmGugM-8Srxp2rCCYLWOGv5b7tdze1V_u7ddSn_B-zAiRcmC9282vMNl80Ds28HHFXuJ6k7ms9noGWyvcK-PD1GL-NTYfKEEZw0c/s320/seattle1.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Maverick the first night..he was drooly face from teething</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSMGJB0k5-6eIp9N9uLOlIisp9q8yR7aCdTac9afTuRcz7UL9sUzuo6ow8t9t2pg82hhI-mbHw_VnM9Z5z4y6BcRL-PyZkxj40s8z5RCKM-AqLactZOBJLlsxT3bEsafIdBr1EtjgNuP8l/s1600/seattle2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSMGJB0k5-6eIp9N9uLOlIisp9q8yR7aCdTac9afTuRcz7UL9sUzuo6ow8t9t2pg82hhI-mbHw_VnM9Z5z4y6BcRL-PyZkxj40s8z5RCKM-AqLactZOBJLlsxT3bEsafIdBr1EtjgNuP8l/s320/seattle2.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Bath time!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikTdz7zRzE4MojSe5Nw7XE75ROwQmg7LiZtAkYkYfaFi0-Jhdm1FWFYfgCdDMlQgrh2yJHNvr8dIZWJCLFon44qyohChAbas5YUOYnTgMnfXLadq85VbnQIMx_ULlufx9DOKVSahLDJMIR/s1600/seattle3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikTdz7zRzE4MojSe5Nw7XE75ROwQmg7LiZtAkYkYfaFi0-Jhdm1FWFYfgCdDMlQgrh2yJHNvr8dIZWJCLFon44qyohChAbas5YUOYnTgMnfXLadq85VbnQIMx_ULlufx9DOKVSahLDJMIR/s320/seattle3.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Mav in his stellar headphone shirt I brought him =)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqxSv0MRiHGvhY9QY0TXxR5efCr0YyKMxMuDkvsH9TN7TrBvrPWgHQOooKHAcdPIwN3G7pWBf5aM5Z3crN0fjRHNkmwpvQ7oy95PH4J3Ls3gdrxs760avyo2nGRjSFT_QxaOX35XHedo79/s1600/seattle4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqxSv0MRiHGvhY9QY0TXxR5efCr0YyKMxMuDkvsH9TN7TrBvrPWgHQOooKHAcdPIwN3G7pWBf5aM5Z3crN0fjRHNkmwpvQ7oy95PH4J3Ls3gdrxs760avyo2nGRjSFT_QxaOX35XHedo79/s320/seattle4.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Yes, he is beautiful!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOIS6tm_pYU7_3hupze_LGPn8KCoCsN2h0NjaBdR1oZMp-9w1SS9z-HakmJYXVQTKGnH8tgLIfmG3nEJWW0DT4TRKmlnZNAfXpJqVK9hUlwTGJvfvhBOffk3XkomVcjdXtO1AH482GfVo4/s1600/seattle5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOIS6tm_pYU7_3hupze_LGPn8KCoCsN2h0NjaBdR1oZMp-9w1SS9z-HakmJYXVQTKGnH8tgLIfmG3nEJWW0DT4TRKmlnZNAfXpJqVK9hUlwTGJvfvhBOffk3XkomVcjdXtO1AH482GfVo4/s320/seattle5.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">We just woke up here haha</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3pq09M_IrpwGobpFYu0YXERtFoc9K6Ilomsh4dQtCKbmcL8PAxEDJqARF12QuGDuTj94-dwYkTTIy5CwMeW6D_KtHd6ha1lwid54iLAMKvw0NaowEnKRcRn8wdztpTVjGqIe3eJATEwkz/s1600/seattle6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3pq09M_IrpwGobpFYu0YXERtFoc9K6Ilomsh4dQtCKbmcL8PAxEDJqARF12QuGDuTj94-dwYkTTIy5CwMeW6D_KtHd6ha1lwid54iLAMKvw0NaowEnKRcRn8wdztpTVjGqIe3eJATEwkz/s320/seattle6.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This pizza place was awesome</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpAHSsxMF2EXfKI8bnKi4ZVBtqmFTXYfgn9BXPM1Gl4AmknXuabVXm471QLo5ScKBYNv9SrUETieBBGWX0o9LXCEFXdJRQBBmLi3t380yGJf0sMn7fyXEAGPrWBkwFX_svv0m6HA2o5ru2/s1600/seattle7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpAHSsxMF2EXfKI8bnKi4ZVBtqmFTXYfgn9BXPM1Gl4AmknXuabVXm471QLo5ScKBYNv9SrUETieBBGWX0o9LXCEFXdJRQBBmLi3t380yGJf0sMn7fyXEAGPrWBkwFX_svv0m6HA2o5ru2/s320/seattle7.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Look how cute =)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk3wPIFrj9dnC_pM8TxpIDF-u8kCqeda6SgiAzR9P9R3ooVbtWhci0ZfJ5b0HJsNFnF6NoDnMhE0iodji-ko_NCPVbLMqFYsxeljkJhjRPgu-j8bN2s4IfLsTXDbKOqoMGV_9JCImUoi9m/s1600/seattle8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk3wPIFrj9dnC_pM8TxpIDF-u8kCqeda6SgiAzR9P9R3ooVbtWhci0ZfJ5b0HJsNFnF6NoDnMhE0iodji-ko_NCPVbLMqFYsxeljkJhjRPgu-j8bN2s4IfLsTXDbKOqoMGV_9JCImUoi9m/s320/seattle8.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Us all dolled up for date night</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHefDgGjOgSpcIrJ9j4Bb_QM8enstIU0f2WmPX6O_WdpsVVoMJYFYHh_oTWstW50LK3DQYdQMRioG_X_hNEIz21uWDZUsJMObfDwY1DNQAhqchOwmIkGLkn5VzdGmorqTJ2Dk9J_3lynOY/s1600/seattle9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHefDgGjOgSpcIrJ9j4Bb_QM8enstIU0f2WmPX6O_WdpsVVoMJYFYHh_oTWstW50LK3DQYdQMRioG_X_hNEIz21uWDZUsJMObfDwY1DNQAhqchOwmIkGLkn5VzdGmorqTJ2Dk9J_3lynOY/s320/seattle9.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Bad waitress but great food</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAEU7IAz8N2-PWOG51khZy90Lqa5Yrdv1nISyM12zUEGkNDNH5lQUlsq1fT-ya0NIqcKsCCzNLMZgFdWddSBdcgTs3IW4DAybZuEDF8EXuGJ4To6wQrzNZgWet24kBKVFFPtg8kZ5Nusoj/s1600/seattle10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAEU7IAz8N2-PWOG51khZy90Lqa5Yrdv1nISyM12zUEGkNDNH5lQUlsq1fT-ya0NIqcKsCCzNLMZgFdWddSBdcgTs3IW4DAybZuEDF8EXuGJ4To6wQrzNZgWet24kBKVFFPtg8kZ5Nusoj/s320/seattle10.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Mark Driscoll's church- it was awesome!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig8ldJFc_YQDkidRRqLMuGSdkvLijN4agd876czg46hZ21AiW_Tcv9XvGfbUyFBhV7TN0G5Wxz5JPRAib9WBcNhrDTLIt-7vHj7HBG3ZiMsisdXmEwRuKoDQEm-FItazYWmES210JKWWZc/s1600/seattle11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig8ldJFc_YQDkidRRqLMuGSdkvLijN4agd876czg46hZ21AiW_Tcv9XvGfbUyFBhV7TN0G5Wxz5JPRAib9WBcNhrDTLIt-7vHj7HBG3ZiMsisdXmEwRuKoDQEm-FItazYWmES210JKWWZc/s320/seattle11.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The famous fish market in Seattle (yes where they throw the fish)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaTSMS-gnvV_opaWDcjDKpRBXg7zddVdslAe4YzVWjanrL58K7G6GmTBYPue1dilaR4C-IKDD63D2ZhZlT8txxWscJdPMSgRi0SuueuKxiK7u4JUzQGvg9d_PxJVmhjUptP8923CBtSGTX/s1600/seattle12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaTSMS-gnvV_opaWDcjDKpRBXg7zddVdslAe4YzVWjanrL58K7G6GmTBYPue1dilaR4C-IKDD63D2ZhZlT8txxWscJdPMSgRi0SuueuKxiK7u4JUzQGvg9d_PxJVmhjUptP8923CBtSGTX/s320/seattle12.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The Space Needle </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfAdFnPnFAispK4REXGm4oRRM7K5tEjmlOwBrEq0aMBalBkqjDnFFM3HDwpseosh7Qj5RuhtTxo6D1txY6g2YdRq-pnv6mGZD-qo-UCBX-iD3tvlvRAFVSWiBXi9Pq69D-1xaQw23TcKoK/s1600/seattle13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfAdFnPnFAispK4REXGm4oRRM7K5tEjmlOwBrEq0aMBalBkqjDnFFM3HDwpseosh7Qj5RuhtTxo6D1txY6g2YdRq-pnv6mGZD-qo-UCBX-iD3tvlvRAFVSWiBXi9Pq69D-1xaQw23TcKoK/s320/seattle13.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Adam in front of the EMP (experience music project). He loved it.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnXsu6VDNAa0P18X3dE1hm921E_8VkB5ydR-tKqnkWnEM9lC5NnizmUXSdbrgWXgsRoU69bhrFkwOJCydYVZKBRN4Wgm4XqYpsheyLDGrW0ov0Tdteu3tYpm-1n0Kxt5d_gDj6qvvMNlQ1/s1600/seattle14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnXsu6VDNAa0P18X3dE1hm921E_8VkB5ydR-tKqnkWnEM9lC5NnizmUXSdbrgWXgsRoU69bhrFkwOJCydYVZKBRN4Wgm4XqYpsheyLDGrW0ov0Tdteu3tYpm-1n0Kxt5d_gDj6qvvMNlQ1/s320/seattle14.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Takin a break at Starbucks (they were everywhere)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhklrSSnJTs1pfVdgQRCaFiiU1EbxQ83Yitj6nnVTfPYbHxe7DPvKWu6qP2IsZ2nUwv1eepJ2bGlNouLLdaQ2M_DJTsSc1dTtTypN300phy4rjD372czDqiZEBkHQ9uEsMKSq74QLD8MM3m/s1600/seattle15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhklrSSnJTs1pfVdgQRCaFiiU1EbxQ83Yitj6nnVTfPYbHxe7DPvKWu6qP2IsZ2nUwv1eepJ2bGlNouLLdaQ2M_DJTsSc1dTtTypN300phy4rjD372czDqiZEBkHQ9uEsMKSq74QLD8MM3m/s320/seattle15.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Crystal and I our last day</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;"><br />
</span>Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-70384619579513649592010-06-16T07:10:00.001-07:002010-06-16T07:10:04.667-07:00Graduations, Weddings, Vacations, Oh my!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Well it seems, my friends, that summer is among us. After making it through Prom season at work, there are weddings galore. We only went to one graduation this year because of all of the wedding festivities, but it seems our weekends are booked solid for the next two months. And with weddings come showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinners (for those of us who are a part of those weddings), and of course the big day. I was honored to be a part of my one of my best friends wedding a couple weeks ago. Ashley and Matt had a beautiful wedding and Adam and I were so thrilled to be standing by their side. Having our newlywed friends home from Cancun has been so wonderful =) (although I'm sure it was torture for them boarding the plane to come home). Right after that wedding, one of my coworkers Jessica got married and they returned home from the Bahamas just this week in fact. This Saturday, Adam is the best man in another wedding of our good friends Jeremy and Sara. Summer is a time that we all look forward to, whether we're in school or not. It's like a 3 month long celebration of something. Here are some pics of the weddings we went to and the Graduate we were so proud of...</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjmEo_QeqiASrSicDaj4RgrBZ8eQgqI6EVyt8O6uTRDCxVCORZml_p47C7YU1OmnT0yAPpbIejV7DVY4GcO_TrTepNuLNxcLAUPfrX0Il-CAK16Ls9NS7GMqx3hS6yA_sk8PTlNZ0AJ1yq/s1600/mwedding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjmEo_QeqiASrSicDaj4RgrBZ8eQgqI6EVyt8O6uTRDCxVCORZml_p47C7YU1OmnT0yAPpbIejV7DVY4GcO_TrTepNuLNxcLAUPfrX0Il-CAK16Ls9NS7GMqx3hS6yA_sk8PTlNZ0AJ1yq/s320/mwedding.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Matt and Ashley saying a prayer..so sweet <3</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNBlr838fU0A3uh50TD-LCkFSFCVsXs3eXfUcL04C35Xm383wRIRQynz6CtiQNdhE8N3sKasNGXTXHfwpsZFMiDbZgwfht2_ate8Muta8STWjNobI52iM9JezuqUCPBQDv3yzSFYj1oiME/s1600/mwedding2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNBlr838fU0A3uh50TD-LCkFSFCVsXs3eXfUcL04C35Xm383wRIRQynz6CtiQNdhE8N3sKasNGXTXHfwpsZFMiDbZgwfht2_ate8Muta8STWjNobI52iM9JezuqUCPBQDv3yzSFYj1oiME/s320/mwedding2.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">One of my favorites, because Ash was soo excited!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYPwW1YMGZsf08e29fip0oH4UFaNXNu1PITwjOPsBtpJOCxYV4bhHxzvLkPxSIMlbhddPGUikI0t2rMkJ9ghlOm0igbtCGds6RzGI3ubz3mkseDdc7MFj-ldZp0C1BAK274fv5rXr90R5s/s1600/bri.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYPwW1YMGZsf08e29fip0oH4UFaNXNu1PITwjOPsBtpJOCxYV4bhHxzvLkPxSIMlbhddPGUikI0t2rMkJ9ghlOm0igbtCGds6RzGI3ubz3mkseDdc7MFj-ldZp0C1BAK274fv5rXr90R5s/s320/bri.jpg" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Beautiful Briana- now a graduate from Bullitt East</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">However, one of my most favorite parts of summer is traveling. Adam and I plan to travel the world one day, but this year, we are headed to Seattle, Sandusky, OH, and Gatlinburg. We fly out to Seattle next Thursday and I am oh so excited. One of my most dear friends live there with her little baby Maverick (that I have yet to meet) and her hubby, Aaron. They are going to be so kind to let us crash at their place and show us around the city. They live in Tacoma but I am excited to visit Seattle and to see a new part of the country. The last time that I saw Crystal was my wedding, a year and three months ago, so I am beyond excited to say the least. I am terrified to fly, though. I keep convincing myself that people fly everyday and it's not a big deal, but I am still tempted to look up that guy that landed that plane on the Hudson River- he could totally be my pilot any day! I think Aaron and Crystal plan to show us around and I am pumped about that, but most of my time will be spent kissing all over Maverick's face and catching up with a best friend.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJV1OjMRDH2bHteopKS0YCSApnGCQCkdoWmLPwvgcaohtyRPO6qfBAC3TdTZdCaWwgh5ESgMQqFzbI-9_SaaANd4KvxlUwO-jnTdh4gwXGobCqWHpTMqU2MyHwClMBcFmvEBKtF-9ZPVzT/s1600/thecollins.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJV1OjMRDH2bHteopKS0YCSApnGCQCkdoWmLPwvgcaohtyRPO6qfBAC3TdTZdCaWwgh5ESgMQqFzbI-9_SaaANd4KvxlUwO-jnTdh4gwXGobCqWHpTMqU2MyHwClMBcFmvEBKtF-9ZPVzT/s320/thecollins.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Aren't they like the most beautiful family? This is my bff Crystal and her hubby and baby</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7dBlArUYK3pMnAqvSgtwCUwWF36sIfR6YA2hHVyQcXJGKrr-rBw89e1kaJg582f2ceeh0OVPVjnriX_s6Y8e1Pq3NrR_kbu_s5g7dEAcp5G5M_SOnFhprEE3RhJ7UZxb-9LlKrZ3MCVWZ/s1600/maverick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7dBlArUYK3pMnAqvSgtwCUwWF36sIfR6YA2hHVyQcXJGKrr-rBw89e1kaJg582f2ceeh0OVPVjnriX_s6Y8e1Pq3NrR_kbu_s5g7dEAcp5G5M_SOnFhprEE3RhJ7UZxb-9LlKrZ3MCVWZ/s320/maverick.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Meet Maverick! Well, I haven't officially met him yet but can't wait to!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When we get home from there, we'll be jumping in the HHR (my new ride, btw), headed to Sandusky, OH. What is there, you ask? Well, Cedar Point of course! We went a couple years ago and loved it. Adam got me four tickets for Valentine's Day (he knows the way to my heart) and we are taking the McCulloughs with us so it will be much fun! It's a 7 hour drive or so to our destination, but road trips are so much fun, with the right people of course. I know Matt and Ashley were a good choice =)</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsNhQiOKbPH9rAMAIS54P4PffiXUyOvVCL-CeQSt4pFHw9N40etIzi4iHwtSVx3FnodMdObE5BEQO7ZPkELpe9b-08xrWO3AW2vyLip5soOYDq73z5IcusnlHjIj1LMMEV8gQPpRYW5e7J/s1600/cedarpoint2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsNhQiOKbPH9rAMAIS54P4PffiXUyOvVCL-CeQSt4pFHw9N40etIzi4iHwtSVx3FnodMdObE5BEQO7ZPkELpe9b-08xrWO3AW2vyLip5soOYDq73z5IcusnlHjIj1LMMEV8gQPpRYW5e7J/s320/cedarpoint2.jpg" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Yes, you should be jealous!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Once we are home from good 'ol Cedar Pointe, we'll be going on a girls' trip a couple weeks later to Gatlinburg. My mom, suffering from empty nest (not really...she cleaned out my room not even a week after I moved out haha), declared an annual girls' getaway weekend exclusive to her, me, Victoria (younger sister), Tonya (older sister), and this year Mikayla and Alexis (Tonya's daughters). We went to Nashville and Memphis last year and had a ball. It is so necessary to get away and bond with the women in your family I am convinced. I love my husband, but we all agree that this is a trip that everyone is looking forward to. Although we will be one lady short, we don't plan to let that ruin anything. My mom deserves to have the time of her life, after the year she's had with taking care of my grandmother and losing her to cancer. Victoria and I plan to drag her all around Gatlinburg, visiting the Titanic museum, maybe Dollywood, and stopping at some shops along the way. She is an amazing mother and friend and I am so excited to get to hang out with her and my sister and nieces for that weekend. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, as you can see, the Pryors are very busy this summer. But it wouldn't be summer if we weren't. We feel extremely blessed that we are financially able to go places and see things. And I hear after children come, it all changes, so we must get away while we can. (no bun in the oven, though, so don't go assuming things.) I will post a blog and some pics when we get back from Seattle!</span>Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-27419188127114141952010-06-08T20:50:00.000-07:002010-06-08T20:50:07.933-07:00Things are a changin'<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Wow..it has been way too long since I've update this blog of mine. Almost a month, I'd say. My last entry was very difficult to write. In fact, the past few months have been quite the rocky trail indeed. It seemed I was completely caught off guard with this uncomfortable ride, forgetting to put my helmet on and losing my safety gear along the way. A caution sign of some sort would have been nice. And, who knows, maybe all the signs were there, but I was too distracted to see them, leading me to my own danger. I know this may sound like spanish to most, but to me, it's the resounding gong of how my life has played out lately. So, with many tears, heartache, and convictions, I feel like God is wanting to take Adam and I in a different direction. Not to a new location or church or even jobs. We are very happy with where we live and with our church. Our jobs are very stable and Adam is moving along nicely through school. It's more of a "priority list" change, one that will effect our social circle and our ministries that we're involved in at church. A change that will hopefully draw us closer to each other and the Lord, while looking forward to the future.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Losing Grandma a month ago has completely turned my world upside down. I drive and cry. I think about her and cry. I go out to eat with Adam and cry. She is everywhere and in everything. Our memories together are all I have to cling to and they are making themselves very present. I don't talk about my loss very much with any of my friends, because it seems too depressing and it's not their loss. I mostly confide in Adam and my sister, Victoria when I can't seem to contain my heartbreak. I know that she wants me to be happy and to move on, but the wound is still so fresh and the bandaid I keep trying to put on it won't stay. So sometimes I have to let the wound bleed and hurt and burn so it can begin to heal. Those times are most difficult and I thank God that He has given me a husband who will do anything to see me happy. He has gotten me through those really rough patches.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">My eyes have also been opened to some things that I don't like about myself. I have built up so much animosity towards some people and I don't want those feelings steering me so I am trying to bury them fast. I don't want to be angry and bitter because I know it's only Satan's ways of pulling me down and making me break. So, that is where the social change is taking place. Adam and I are trying to surround ourselves with some different people, and different places. We want to be encouraging to each other and other people and the way things were going, it seemed everyone wanted to hurt everyone else. So far, this change has proved beneficial. I have started a bible study with my mom on Wednesday nights and Adam and I went to a new class this past Sunday that we both enjoyed a lot. The study is great for Mom and I to do together, especially still grieving. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Although, we aren't moving anywhere, change is still alive and molding us. We are trying earnestly to make the Lord our first priority and to make each the very next priority. The biggest thing we've learned is we can't fix everyone else's problems. It seems everytime we get pulled into something going on in someone else's life, it backfires. Yes, I've stepped on toes and I've made people feel uncomfortable. I have talked when I shouldn't have and blown up when I should have bitten my tongue. Being kicked while you're down is one thing but I feel we've been beaten to a pulp. So, as you can see, something had to change. Without pain, there is no growth and no healing. I am looking forward to how the Lord is going to use us in the future and who He is going to bring our way =)</span></span>Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2543912435375653199.post-91121135117905648652010-05-09T17:16:00.000-07:002010-05-09T17:16:50.347-07:00A somewhat eulogy to Grandma WandaFriday night at 11:35 p.m., my only grandmother went home to be with the Lord, with my mom, two sisters, my step-dad, my husband, and one of my nieces by her side. I still cannot fully wrap my mind around what I witnessed Friday evening- something so intense, it's hard to put into words. It's just Sunday and we have yet to have the visitation and funeral- they are scheduled for Tuesday and Wednesday because of Mother's Day being today and my cousin's birthday on Tuesday. So I have been trying to keep myself busy so I don't have to feel the pain, so I don't have to wonder what I am going to do without her phone calls and crazy stories, so I don't have to face the reality that she isn't here anymore. So far I have done pretty well. I have dove into scrapbooking like never before- I have made two collages in her memory to display at the funeral home and I intend on making one more poster of all of Grandma's favorite things. I feel if I keep my mind occupied with something else, it will hurt less, but it still resurfaces no matter how much I try to push it to the back of my head.<br />
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For anyone who knew my grandmother, knows what kind of woman I am speaking about. She was the epitome of a sacrificial mother and grandmother and the best kind of friend. After losing my dad to cancer when I was 16, my grandmother quickly took the role of helping my mom raise us. From then on out she has become a second mother to me and she had lived with us off and on since I was in the sixth grade. This is not your typical grandparent-grandchild relationship I am describing. Most of my friends only see their grandparents on the holidays or birthdays and rarely have to time to visit with having their own families. My grandmother was part of our immediate family. She was there for everything- the big occasions and the small. The ups and the down. The mountains and the vallies. She was nothing short of perfection and she taught me a lifetime of lessons that I plan to carry with me forever.<br />
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Something Grandma and I could always chat about was work. She was a retired hairdresser and had owned 2 shops in her time here on earth. She would come to see me at my salon and would get so excited- like a kid in a candy store. I insisted on coming to the house to cut her hair, but I think she loved the feeling of stepping foot into a salon. It was such a huge part of her for so long that it was almost a nice breeze from the past when she would visit- a time for her to reminise and gossip with me, just like we were co workers. For the last almost three years that I've been a hairdresser, it felt like we were business partners. But the connection we shared went so much further than our commonalities of the salon life. <br />
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Grandma was hilarious. Her stories would get anyone within 5 feet of her sitting around her to listen to what she would have to say next. She spoke her mind on numerous occasions and would have us laughing to tears without even realizing how funny she was being. Her countless adventures with her best friend pranking cars and bar hoping were some of my favorite ones to listen to. She had sad stories too...stories of abuse and anger from her previous marriage. She had to get through hair school to find a way out of a marriage that was hell for her. She knew she had to have a steady income to raise two kids on her own. And she did it. The strength she displayed then and more recently during her sickness is something I admired most about her.<br />
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She was diagnosed with lung cancer in April '08. Soon after, she decided against any kind of treatment, seeing as how she was a heart patient and diabetic. She wanted quality of life and felt chemo and radiation treatments would do nothing but hold her down and keep her from living. So she began the battle with nothing but pain medication and pure determination to fight it, as long as the Lord would allow her to. At first, there wasn't an immediate difference in her, but the last year, she became weaker and eventually it got to the point where my mom had to start working from home to take care of her. I am off Mondays and Tuesdays so it was a no brainer for me to step up and help mom out as much as possible with taking her to the doctor and to run errands for her. Little did I know, in all these times I thought I was helping her, she would be helping me. Shaping me and teaching me and sculpting me in our times together. Showing me how to love and how to live in a God-honoring way. Always telling me she was on my side and my biggest supporter. We would laugh and talk on our many dates. Our adventures led us to many places- Chilli's, Culver's, Penn Station, the movies, Graeters, the grocery, the nail salon, Cracker Barrel...wherever we would go and whatever we had to do, we had so much fun. Those times with her are times I will never forget and will always be grateful for.<br />
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As I try to prepare myself for the visitation and funeral, I know that it will be extremely difficult to deal with. I have spent so much time with her in the last year, that it's hard to picture my life without her. The reality of it is that she's with the Lord and she is out of pain- knowing that brings peace in this storm. She struggled and fought for so long and I know that it was her time to go home, but selfishly, I wanted her to stay. She's the only grandmother I had and I feel such a big chunk of my heart is missing. Seeing our friends and loved ones will be overwhelming- answering all the questions I don't want to and trying to be strong for my mom when I don't know if I can, but the I will find my strength in the Lord and I will rest in the fact that she is walking the streets of gold with our Jesus.<br />
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Grandma, I will always miss you and will always be grateful to you for all the things you did when you didn't have to. You made life sweeter and my memories with you are something I will hang onto forever. I will tell your stories and I will think of you when I order a scoop of ice cream from Graeter's. I will never forget how selfless you were in selling me your car and I still have the angel hanging from the mirror that was there before. I know you are with me and I know you are watching over me. Happy first Mother's Day in heaven and many more to come. I love you so much.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDDKEM-8fuZCSUqMoTrC4ZpaC8Co9Hw_b-3JxWqgPXYZLZRUUbgkgXcoruZVIRTfMLKdPB-A-a1sZ8MoYMPWQahOQaVR1-WHEViknF_lZT6pm4av3nlHaHXUiwU-Dpy1MEy0IDTglVfs1U/s1600/feesh&grandma.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDDKEM-8fuZCSUqMoTrC4ZpaC8Co9Hw_b-3JxWqgPXYZLZRUUbgkgXcoruZVIRTfMLKdPB-A-a1sZ8MoYMPWQahOQaVR1-WHEViknF_lZT6pm4av3nlHaHXUiwU-Dpy1MEy0IDTglVfs1U/s320/feesh&grandma.jpg" tt="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Grandma and I dancing at my March '09 wedding</div>Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07946717213211267714noreply@blogger.com1