Today Adam was off work which was strange since he never has a day off during the week, but I loved it. With this random day off, we tossed around a few ideas on how we could spend this lovely Tuesday. Courageous came out last weekend, and since we missed seeing it with our church, and heard nothing but fantastic reviews about it, we thought it'd be worth seeing. And since we had decided on the 1:05 p.m. matinee, we had to load up Callie and take her with us. She did great napping in her car seat while the movie played. Thank God we have a baby who knocks out when the lights dim. I think the people who saw us walk into the theater with our baby were relieved she slept as well.
After all of the ranting and raving about this movie, I kind of already drew my own conclusions as to what happened and what it would be about. I already figured out the big tragedy from the previews so was prepared to cry. And boy did I. I was just hoping the acting would be better than the previous Christian films made by the same people and it was. I was really surprised by the movie all around...how good it was, how convicting it was, and how it made me think about things I really didn't want to. I guess God is good at putting something in your path to knock you down when you think your riding along without a care in the world.
I have a wonderful, blessed life. I am married to my best friend and love of my life. I have friends and family that support me no matter what. We now have a 4 month old daughter who has brought out this entirely different kind of love and joy in our hearts. We are blessed to have great jobs that we love and to have a home. We love our church, and even more recently, our new Sunday School class. We are trying to get more involved here and there in ministry and outreach. From the look of it all, it would seem everything is lined up for us. And we are happy, very happy. Being comfortable and happy with our lives can lead to a contentment that can be poisonous if we're not careful. Poisonous in a way where there's no relationship at all with our Lord. He's been so good to us, so why do I find it so hard to be who I know I should be for my God? I pray continuously for discipline, motivation, blah, blah, blah. I still go to bed without reading, without praying, and without spending anytime with my Father.
As I prayed over Callie tonight, I was overwhelmed with how much love I have for her. Watching the movie today was a big reminder of how short life is and how precious the moments are that we spend with our children. Even if she is just a baby still, it's so important for us to make time with her a priority and it is. She is my everything and the outpouring of love that I have for my daughter is indescribable. I cry when she cries and her laugh makes any bad day bright. I could stare at those blue eyes all day and blow raspberries on her cheeks until I run out of breath. She's our angel sent to us from our Lord and when I approach Him in prayer praising Him for her, I can hardly contain my emotions. And tonight when I was praying, He opened my eyes to something. The unimaginable, unexplainable, out of this world love that I have for Callie, my Lord has for me. And I have been neglectful of His love for too long.
The movie was a great charge for fathers, but as a mother, I took the same charge to heart. I don't want to be just a good enough mom. I want to be a God fearing mom. I want to be the mom who makes it to all of her games or dances or whatever she wants to be involved in. I want to be right there cheering her on, encouraging her in every way. I don't want to be too lazy or tired to take her shopping, or to talk about boys, or to pray with her when she's hurt. I want her to know that she has a mommy and daddy that love her and that love the Lord. She is everything to us. Our Lord should take priority over her. How can that not revolutionize my day-to-days with Christ?
In conclusion, if you haven't seen Courageous, go see it. See it with your family. And as I was instructed to do, bring kleenexes because the napkins from the concession stand just aren't the same.